


Don't wanna think about the distance

by Baekbitficfest, baeksthighs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: First Time, Internet Famous, Light Angst, M/M, SNS!AU, how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 04:58:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10983843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baekbitficfest/pseuds/Baekbitficfest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeksthighs/pseuds/baeksthighs
Summary: “What’d you say?”“... I told him he was bendy.”





	Don't wanna think about the distance

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to leave lots of lovely comments for the writer!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3

_**Title** : don't wanna think about the distance _  
_**Prompt #** : 142 _  
_**Pairing** : Baekhyun/Jongin_  
_**Rating** : NC-17 _  
_**Summary** : “What’d you say?” “_  
_... I told him he was bendy.”_  
_**Word Count** : 26, 898 _  
_**Warnings** : light angst _  
_**Author's** Note: First off, I'd like to thank the mods for being so patient with me while I struggled to finish this fic. Title taken from Arizona's Electric Touch. This definitely isn't my best work and I apologize to the OP for not doing such a wonderful prompt justice, but I hope you find something enjoyable about it anyway! And also excuse my mistakes as this is unbeta'd lol oops._

 

 

Baekhyun is used to attention. Ever since he can remember, people have been drawn to him like a moth to a flickering flame, enticed by his mere existence and intrigued by his bubbling personality. 

 

That’s what he likes to think, anyway. 

 

According to Jongdae, though, he only attracts attention because he’s  _ a loud mouthed pain in the ass that yaps like a neighborhood dog in the dead of the night _ . Jongdae is, quite honestly, an asshole. Baekhyun pays him no attention because, damn it, he is a damn lovely and talented human being! His Tumblr followers tell him just how precious he is daily, thank you very much Kim Jongdae. 

 

They also tell him weird things, like how they want to suck and bite on his exceptionally pretty fingers or have them glide over their bodies  _ just like they glide over the keys of a piano holy shit you’re so hot!!! _ That’s beside the point, though, even if it does flatter him. He takes great pride (and great care) of his hands and fingers; moisturizes them every day and he supposes sticking them up his ass on occasion keeps their skills in tip-top shape. The piano probably helps, too, of course.

 

Anyways.

 

The point is, Baekhyun has a large following of people who, for whatever reason, have taken a liking to him and the things he posts online. It’s a bit bizarre, sometimes a little creepy, but overall Baekhyun is proud of the virtual life he’s created for himself. It’s an odd form of satisfaction, but it’s satisfaction nonetheless, and Baekhyun is the reigning king of self-satisfaction.

 

And to think he only used to use Tumblr for the 5-minute amateur porn videos for a quick wank. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Anonymous asked you:** _are your moans as angelic as your singing i need to know for a friend (hint: it’s the one between my legs)_

 

 **Anonymous asked you:** _dude i’m straight but damn_

 

 **dongdae asked you:** _you suck but your singing is nice good job loser!_

 

 **superkaiyan asked you:** _hi um i don’t usually do this, but do you mind if i use your cover for something i’m working on? it’s totally cool if you say no!_

 

Baekhyun, with a self-satisfied grin, snickers to himself, fingers flying over his keyboard as he types out replies to each message except for Jongdae’s, to which he attaches a gif of Emma Roberts flipping the middle finger, before logging out. Jongdae is not worth the effort of typing a proper response.

 

His most recent cover had taken him a while to perfect, weeks and weeks worth of getting the keys, tone, and his vocals just right so he didn’t botch the song altogether, which is always his worry when covering older songs, especially ones from entirely different decades. It’s no secret that, no matter what, regardless of how good he and other people think his cover is, there’s going to be someone that won’t like it, someone that will still bash it. It won’t be the first time and it won’t be the last. Baekhyun is pretty thick skinned when it comes to negativity aimed at him, though. With friends like Chanyeol and Jongdae, it’s kinda hard to be soft. 

 

No pun intended  _ at all _ . Really, those two are revolting. 

 

“I don’t get it, dude,” Jongdae sighs almost wistfully. Baekhyun, because he’s too damn lazy to turn his chair around, tilts his head back to look at Jongdae, fingers still moving over the keyboard as he replies to the messages in his Tumblr inbox. His muscle memory is sound, and he doesn’t know if he should be proud or ashamed. 

 

“Get what?” 

 

“Why you get flooded with requests from girls all the time. Do they not know that you like it up the butt?” 

 

Baekhyun scoffs, “I’m versatile, thank you.” 

 

“Yeah yeah,” Jongdae says dismissively, “listen to this.  _ You’re so hot please destroy me!! _ They literally just asked the biggest twink ever to  _ destroy _ them when in reality you would be the one making them destroy you. I can’t believe it, these poor girls. I’ll show them what a real dom is,” Jongdae says, shaking his head in mock remorse.

 

It’s Baekhyun’s turn to snort. “ _ Dom _ , he says. Dude, you cry over cat food commercials and you let your last girlfriend stick a dildo in your ass. She probably fucked you more than you fucked her.” 

 

The silence is all Baekhyun needs to confirm that Jongdae is tongue-tied. A rare yet wonderful happening. Until Jongdae scoffs from behind, leaving Baekhyun to hang his head and kiss those 5 and a half seconds of sweet silence goodbye. 

 

“Okay, for one thing, I’m emotionally attached to all cats. They’re adorable and deserve to have tears shed over the amount of adorable that is them. And for two, I am simply open minded in the bedroom. Experimenting is important.” 

 

“And I clearly appeal to all genders, and I happen to take great pride in that. Sure I prefer dicks over chicks, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like getting compliments from them.” In fact, it’s an honor in Baekhyun’s book. It’s an even bigger honor when straight dudes tell him how he’s momentarily managed to bend their sexuality. 

 

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, League of Legends is calling my name,” Baekhyun says with finality in hopes that Jongdae will shut the heck up. He cannot possibly emerge himself into a virtual world of ass kicking with Jongdae yapping away his nonsense. 

 

“Calling your name so you can get frustrated and curse everything under the sun because you suck?” 

 

Baekhyun’s fingers twitch over the keyboard. Fucking Jongdae man. 

 

“I only suck when I have distractions and right now your big mouth is really distracting,” Baekhyun sneers with a too polite smile—one that blatantly says  _ shut the fuck up or I’ll castrate you _ . 

 

And he so would. 

 

“The only way my mouth could be distracting is if I had it on your dick,” Jongdae replies haughtily, confident as ever. 

 

“That’s a lot of confidence for someone who’s never had a dick near his face. Well, a real one anyway.” Baekhyun laughs at his own remark and he doesn’t have to glance back at Jongdae to know that the other is surely glaring daggers into his back. Never start with the king of comebacks: a lesson Jongdae has never learned. 

 

“Don’t look so smug,” Jongdae says almost flippantly, “you’re only winning this time because I’m too lazy to think of a comeback.” 

 

“Sure,” Baekhyun waves a hand dismissively. “Now hush.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Baekhyun isn’t being some super cool internet sensation, he’s being a super cool piano teacher at the local theater, happily spending his days with his fingers ghosting over white and black keys with curious and determined students watching his every move and listening to his every word. When he’s playing piano, it’s one of the rare moments where he’s a completely different person—a calmer, more reserved reflection of himself but somehow still entirely  _ him _ . The piano is like home, and Baekhyun has each key memorized like the walls of the house he grew up in.

 

This calmer version is someone that he doesn’t show very often. His students witness this side of him almost daily whereas his friends get his goofy, sarcastic, boisterous side. It’s not that he hides parts of himself, it just depends on the atmosphere around him. His friends bring out his the loudest version of himself whereas the piano draws out his inner calmness with a dash of ambiance sprinkled over it. 

 

Despite loving his job and helping his students develop their skills, his favorite part of the day is when he's left alone with the piano and the empty room. It’s so easy for him to slip into that state of calm, almost a bit like taking off your clothes to change into your pajamas after a long day. It’s like walking into a home away from home, he thinks as his fingers press against the keys. There’s no certain piece he has in mind, he just lets his fingers do the talking, lets them create whatever melody they please, and he feels at peace. 

 

He stays there for a few hours, melodies metaphorically floating from his fingertips and his spine curved with his shoulders hunched, which he will definitely scold himself for when he’s older and complaining about pesky back pains. He can’t bring himself to be too concerned about his posture when he’s immersed in the piano, isn’t really too concerned about anything except the white and black keys under his fingers. It’s not until his phone starts buzzing against his right butt cheek that he decides to detach himself from the piano stool, knowing he’s most likely going to open a phone full of texts from Jongdae, which puts a real damper on his peaceful mood. 

 

As expected, he has a total of 7 messages from Loud Mouth™, which is Jongdae’s name in his contacts because it’s so very fitting. The first 5 texts are rows of the shit emoji followed by a “ _ the resemblance to you is uncanny _ ”, which is followed by a casual “ _ anyways come meet me and yeol at mcdonald’s when you’re done being a sad pianist _ ”. Baekhyun scoffs as he slips his jacket on, muttering to himself about how it was just his damn luck to have ended up with Jongdae as his best friend. 

 

He would at least like a best friend with some quality restaurant taste instead of having to settle for a Big Mac and a knock off apple pie that tastes like cardboard coated in some kind of artificially flavored sugary glaze every other day. Okay, that’s not entirely true. Baekhyun’s pallet has grown well adapted to the familiar taste and he has grown a certain fondness, which ultimately makes him pretty easy to please; and his dates never have to worry about spending too much money, so he can’t complain too much. 

 

His stomach grumbles as he shuts the lights off. He watches as the rows of seats are swallowed up by darkness, until only the dim lights on the proscenium arch are all that’s left, and he can’t help but note how the atmosphere shifts. The room fills with something akin to loneliness Baekhyun thinks as he stares into the black abyss, standing still for a few seconds to take it in. As an observer, he’s always been fascinated by how the smallest things can change an entire setting; physical changes and atmospheric changes alike are fragile things, pliable and easily influenced by even the smallest things. 

 

His phone buzzes again, and he doesn’t have to look to know that it’s Jongdae nagging at him to hurry his slow ass up, which in turn will only make him slow down because he just loves pushing Jongdae’s impatient buttons. Chanyeol is the one that ends up listening to the whining and so Baekhyun is pretty much in the clear for a good laugh and nothing more. 

 

The inner workings of a true mastermind, if he does say so himself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why are you literally slower than an eighty-year-old?” Is the first thing out of Jongdae’s mouth upon Baekhyun’s arrival. Chanyeol is already rubbing his temples, face void of any emotion that would indicate the slightest hint that he was enjoying being in Jongdae’s company. In fact, he looks like he’s ready to bang his head against the table in front of him. A familiar satisfaction sets in, and Baekhyun grins ear to ear as he settles into the vacant seat across from Jongdae and Chanyeol. 

 

“Hello boys,” he says. “I take it the Big Mac would be for me?” Baekhyun asks, arm already outstretched and his fingers ready to grab for the burger, until Jongdae quickly slaps his hands over top of the box and pulls it towards himself instead. Baekhyun blinks, unimpressed and disappointed as he stomach grumbles. He was so close.

 

“You don’t deserve this Big Mac. You could’ve had it when it was nice and warm, but  _ nooo _ , being punctual has never been your strong suit.” 

 

Most of the time, Jongdae really is more a nagging mother and sometimes ( _ all the time _ ) Baekhyun just wants him to  _ not _ . He knows that through the layers of sarcasm and all of his asshole-ish ways, Jongdae is very much concerned about Baekhyun’s well being and knows that Jongdae knows that after work Baekhyun is terrible at doing necessary human things such as making actual food—not that McDonald’s can really qualify as  _ actual  _ food, but it’ll suffice—, especially when he’s in the middle of putting a new cover together, which is 99.9% of the time. The other 0.01% is usually spent tending to his own personal needs. 

 

Okay, so that’s not entirely true. It’s more like 75% of his time is spent on making covers and the other 25% is spent for personal needs. 

 

“Sorry mom, I’ll be on time next time?” 

 

Jongdae scoffs, unconvinced as he slides the burger over towards Baekhyun with feigned reluctance. “I don’t believe you,” he says, “but I assume you haven’t eaten anything so here.”  

 

Baekhyun grins as he tears into the burger without shame, not really caring that there’s definitely sauce on his cheek because chances are Jongdae will be leaning over the table with a napkin at any moment. He’s not so great at hiding his mothering nature like he thinks he is.  

 

“So I’m DJing at that new club in Suncheon next week. You’re both coming, no excuses,” Chanyeol informs them, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. Baekhyun tries not to laugh, suppressing the urge to do so by swallowing the food in his own mouth because Chanyeol looks scarily similar to a cow when he’s chewing, and Baekhyun’s brain only provides hilarious visuals that Chanyeol would maim him for. 

 

“The place with the go-go dancers? I’m in.” 

 

Baekhyun makes a face, “Tacky.” 

 

“Fuck you, you’re tacky,” Jongdae hisses with no real bite. 

 

Chanyeol ignores them and continues talking, mouth still full and his lack of interest in the bickering going on clearly evident. “If the crowd responds well, they could possibly want me to come back and DJ again. This might be the break I’ve been needing,” the excitement in Chanyeol’s voice slips through as does the dimple in his cheek when he begins smiling at the thought of his career finally taking off. 

 

Chanyeol’s been trying to make it as a DJ for as long as Baekhyun can remember. He struggled all through college, hoping and waiting for someone to give him a chance, always bursting at the seams with joy when someone  _ did _ and never losing his smile when someone didn’t. Even through the slumps, his hope never wavered, and Baekhyun respects Chanyeol so much for that. It’s admirable, but that’s a thought that Baekhyun will lock away and keep to himself because the only ego he’s good at stroking is his own. 

 

“That’s amazing,” Baekhyun mumbles, in an awe that he tries to disguise by continuing to bite into his food. 

 

“Totally,” Jongdae agrees and reaches over to give Chanyeol’s shoulder a squeeze. 

 

Chanyeol is beaming now, a faint flush spreading over his nose and the tops of his cheeks as he rocks from side to side excitedly. He’s overjoyed, but he never makes a big deal out of himself for very long. He accepts the congratulations handed to him, soaks in the few moments of praise, and leaves it at that. 

 

Baekhyun zones out in between chewing and fishing his phone out of his pocket as Chanyeol and Jongdae slide into another conversation, clearing his notifications before he types in his lock code. When a big part of your life is lived online, it’s hard to keep yourself from checking up on what’s going on. In a world practically run on technology and social media, checking your apps is as easy as breathing; is so normal that it’s hard to decipher if you’re an internet addict or if you’re on it the same amount as everyone else. 

 

He checks Instagram first, quickly clearing out the few notifications there before he moves onto Twitter. He mentions on Twitter aren’t usually too flooded, mostly consist of retweets, but the amount of mentions he gets is more than he deserves. He checks Tumblr last, as it’s usually where he gets the most messages on a daily basis. Reblogs are a constant and messages pour in, mostly to compliment him on a new cover or suggest what he should cover next along with the occasional snooping into his personal life. 

 

Today, however, his inbox does not consist of the usual messages he’s used to receiving. 

 

 **Anonymous asked you:** _oh my g od have you seen superkaiyans video???_

 

 **sugarpxll asked you:** _please do yourself a favor and go watch superkaiyans latest video post i promise you’ll either nut or cry_

 

 **supernugget asked you:** _SOBS GO WATCH SUPERKAIYANS VIDEO I BEG O FYOU TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIS BEAUTY_

 

 **Anonymous asked you:** _honestly if you haven’t been on superkaiyans blog lately what are you really doing with your life_

 

_ Superkaiyan _ . The username rings a faint bell in the back of Baekhyun’s brain, but nothing rises to the surface as he types in the blog name in the search bar. But, when the blog pops up, and there’s a boy with dark hair and almond-shaped eyes staring at him in the small icon in the corner, it all comes flooding back to him; the kid that had asked to use his cover. Baekhyun hadn’t paid attention back then, but the boy is a  _ sight _ , piquing Baekhyun’s interest as he scrolls past the reblogs of anime gifs and angsty photography until he reaches the latest post from  _ superkaiyan _ himself. 

 

He presses play and finds himself looking at what he assumes is a studio of sorts, with mirrors lining the walls and a radio in the corner with the lights dimmed. The boy comes into the frame a moment later, clad in a loose-fitting tank and sweats, already slicked a thin layer of sweat from previous activities, and  _ oh boy _ . 

 

“Oh boy what?” Jongdae asks. 

 

Baekhyun hadn’t realized the words actually left his lips, eyes too focused on following the sharp lines of the boy’s body as the song starts. Baekhyun quickly turns down his phone volume and ignores Jongdae’s questions, shushing him and waving him off so he can focus in peace, damn it. 

 

Right off the bat, the boy’s movements are graceful and he moves with such fluidity, and yet his movements are somehow full of power, perfectly executed and sharp. Baekhyun doesn’t get it. How the heck can someone be soft and powerful at the same time? What kind of black magic gives people such abilities? 

 

“Oh my god,” Baekhyun blurts subconsciously, eyes trying to follow all of the boy’s limbs but finding it impossible to do so. 

 

“What?” Jongdae asks, leaning over the table to get a peek at Baekhyun’s phone. “Who’s that?” 

 

There’s a beat of silence because Baekhyun does not have time to respond when there’s a pretty, golden-skinned boy spinning and dramatically falling to his knees, hands clutched to his chest and his head falling forward as the song ends. 

 

“Who is it?” Chanyeol asks, his own interest piqued. 

 

“God,” Baekhyun responds. “It’s God. Or at least one of his angels because holy shit, have you ever seen such a face?” Baekhyun realizes he’s exaggerating, but with a jawline crafted by the Gods and skin the color of a mocha sunrise, he thinks he can afford to exaggerate. In fact, he feels that it’s mandatory that he does. 

 

“He’s hot,” Jongdae nods, plucking Baekhyun’s phone from his hands. 

 

“He asked me last week if he could use my cover of In The Illusion. I was too stunned to even appreciate the fact that he liked my cover enough to personally ask me if he could dance to it,” Baekhyun sighs shamefully. “I’ve only been rendered speechless twice in my life; during my first blowjob, and now.” 

 

“So, basically, you’re saying he’s as good as a blowjob,” Chanyeol snorts. 

 

“... Can we not discuss him and blowjobs. McDonald’s is not the place to think about blowjobs.” 

 

“Please,” Jongdae cackles, “the bathrooms are probably blowjob central.” 

 

“Not for me. I’m a man of taste,” Baekhyun sniffs haughtily, and both Chanyeol and Jongdae glance at each other before bursting into laughter. Baekhyun is offended. 

 

“A man of taste,” Chanyeol repeats, unconvinced and his brow arched like he knows something he shouldn’t. He probably does, he knows too much about Baekhyun in general. “That must be why you got caught blowing your co-worker back in college. Didn’t your boss catch you two in the supply closet?” 

 

Upon remembering that certain time in his life, Baekhyun pointedly ignores his friends and tries to shake off the inward cringe that crashes through him. Being caught in the act is not a look for anyone, especially Baekhyun who has a tendency to say extremely stupid things like  _ “I was just fixing his zipper!” _ whilst still having a mouthful of dick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over the course of a week, when he’s not busy creating top notch melodies and working on new covers, and also putting up Jongdae and Chanyeol’s shit, Baekhyun finds himself falling into a hole that is superkaiyan’s blog. Unlike Baekhyun, who keeps his blog organized and has a whole separate page for important tags, superkaiyan, or  _ Kai _ as his bio says, does not. Baekhyun can’t even find where to click to get to the next page and therefore he is forced to type “/page/2” in the search bar. 

 

He wants to help this kid get his blog shit together because  _ what a mess _ —Baekhyun is appalled and can only assume  _ Kai _ is either super lazy or technically inept. A well-organized blog is a happy blog, damn it. Minseok would agree. Minseok would also agree that the only thing Baekhyun is good at keeping organized is his blog because his apartment speaks volumes about how much he cares about real life organization. 

 

Hint; it’s not much. Like. At all. But that’s okay because Minseok tends to take it upon himself to clean up for Baekhyun, all the while bitching as he goes his merry little way, but nothing that phases the almighty Byun Baekhyun. 

 

However, Baekhyun can say that apart from not having his shit organized and properly tagged, the blog is very aesthetically pleasing; blog title in Japanese, photography of neon city lights and foreign countries, poetic quotes, body posi posts sprinkled about, and the occasional photo of a dog. Baekhyun scrolls lower, goes to the next page, repeats. 

 

This continues until he comes across a selfie, and that’s the exact moment he decides to nearly choke on his damn juice because??? Wow??? Sure the quality isn’t great, but Kai looks soft and all casual boyfriend and Baekhyun feels very offended by this and now he fully understands what  _ came out to have a good time but honestly feeling so attacked right now _ means. The fact that he can see soft bed sheets and fluffy pillows in the background is devastating. A real kick in the face. 

 

“Don’t lose focus, Baekhyun, you’re searching for videos. Not adorable selfies. Videos. Yeah.” 

 

Forcing himself to continue scrolling down at super speed to avoid any more flustering posts that may be lurking on the page, it’s not long until Baekhyun finally comes across the latest video posted by user superkaiyan. And, as if God himself wanted Baekhyun to stalk to his heart’s content, it’s the first thing on the blog that he’s seen that has a tag. 

 

Baekhyun dives right in, fully prepared to dip his toes right into an ocean of things that will most likely have him feeling all kinds of ways; ways that will have him shoving his fingers mindlessly into his mouth and ways that will have him near weeping when the beauty gets to be too much. 

 

 

 

Baekhyun emerges hours later after having gone through all of the videos under the  _ #video _ tag, fingers tracing the seam of his lips and his mind teetering the scales because he wants to appreciate the work of art that is Kai, but also the inner pervert inside of him just really wants to keep appreciating the wonderful view of sweat-slicked skin that the loose fitting tank grants him. Baekhyun firmly believes that admiring artwork is important, is very good for the soul, especially if the artwork has wonderful proportions and thighs that Baekhyun is sure could crush him. And Baekhyun would certainly let them. 

 

A knock on his door has him jolting, pulling him from his wonderful world of tanned skin and sin, and he hisses when his knee bangs against the side of his desk. “Motherfu—” he curses as he gets up and pads his way to the door, still cursing as he goes. Whoever is on the other side of the door will be caught in the line of fire that is Byun Baekhyun and it is a fire that is hard to extinguish. 

 

“Who the hell is it,” Baekhyun grumbles. Not that he has to ask because only two people ever visit him. Minseok and Kyungsoo do on occasion, but they both send a text beforehand because they’re polite as hell and like to give a guy a little warning. 

 

“It’s me, fuck face. Your favorite person to ever step foot on the filthy grounds of this planet.” And then there’s Jongdae. Unpleasant, but at least he knocks. 

 

“I’m not home.” 

 

“Alright, I’ll just take my chicken wings and be gone,” Jongdae sing-songs, knowing damn well that Baekhyun is going to swing the door open in about 0.2 seconds. 

 

“The wings have granted your annoying ass access,” he pulls the door open and allows Jongdae to step inside, expressionless and unamused because, yes, Jongdae interrupted something very important. 

 

“You would’ve let me in eventually whether I had food or not.” 

 

“Don’t flatter yourself. Besides, you interrupted important things.” 

 

“Dude, keep that information to yourself when I’m trying to eat,” Jongdae is already plopped on Baekhyun’s couch and tearing into the wings. Baekhyun takes it upon himself to grab two beers from the fridge like the excellent host he is, tossing one in Jongdae’s lap, secretly hoping it hits him right where the sun doesn’t shine. Just because it’s Jongdae and his pain amuses Baekhyun.

 

“Not that, dumbass. I happened to be in the middle of some very important stalking.” The wings are greasy as expected, and Baekhyun is positive he and Jongdae both are going to regret their choices in probably an hour from now, but that doesn’t stop Baekhyun from devouring four before he continues speaking. 

 

“Remember the kid that used my cover?” 

 

Jongdae nods, too immersed in wings to give a proper answer. “Hmph,” he mumbles. 

 

“I stalked every video he posted. He’s so talented? He almost has me convinced he’s spineless. It's literally like he moves as if he’s boneless,” Baekhyun gushes. Perhaps gushing over a stranger is a bit silly, but then he remembers that millions of girls gush over celebrities every day and therefore it is perfectly acceptable for him to do the same. 

 

“And?” Jongdae prompts, unattractively considering his grease coated lips.

 

There’s a pause filled with the nonchalant sounds of their chewing, and then Baekhyun turns to Jongdae, pouts and lets his head hang in distress as he says, “I love him.” 

 

Jongdae just snorts in response, “Calm down.” 

 

“He’s so hot. Like, idol hot. Why the fuck is an average person out here being <i>idol</i> hot?” 

 

“Because he was blessed with good genes?” Jongdae says obviously. 

 

“Or maybe God thought this hideous, filthy shit hole needed an angel so he sent his best one,” a dreamy sigh escapes Baekhyun’s lips while a feigned gag escapes Jongdae’s. 

 

“And I repeat;  _ calm down _ ,” Jongdae repeats, and Baekhyun pulls a face of disgust at the burp that follows. The rudeness is unbelievable honestly. “Try messaging him. Maybe he’ll be endeared by your, um, deep admiration for him.” 

 

Baekhyun blinks a few times. Perhaps… Maybe it’s not such a crazy thing to do. People connect through the internet every second, forming friendships and bonds with complete strangers, and complimenting Kai on his dancing skills would only be the polite thing of Baekhyun to do, right? As long as he keeps his filter on, that is. Shockingly, Baekhyun tends to overdo it sometimes. 

 

“You know,” Baekhyun swallows, “that might be the smartest thing you’ve ever said.” 

 

“Pretty sure I’ve said smarter things because I’m a fucking genius, but whatever,” Jongdae shrugs.

 

Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun quickly licks his fingers clean, ignores Jongdae and pulls up the Tumblr app on his phone. “What do I say?” he asks. 

 

“You, Baekhyun, is at a loss for words for once in his life. This is headliner content.” Jongdae not being helpful is not an unusual thing, but a little effort would be appreciated. Baekhyun gives him a warning look to express his annoyance. 

 

“Okay, okay,” Jongdae sighs, “tell him his video was greatly admired. By both your eyes and your dick.” 

 

“I hate you, you useless sack of wings.”

 

Jongdae simply waves a wing in front of Baekhyun’s face while Baekhyun tries to conjure up something to say, something not so Baekhyun like. He must not be blunt but composed. He begins typing. 

 

**_ASK ME ANYTHING:_ **

_ Hello, you’re very bendy and talented and I’m honored that you used my cover??? YOU’RE SO COORDINATED??? Do you even have a spine lmao _

 

 

Seems internet casual enough. 

 

Baekhyun’s thumb hovers over the  _ ask _ button for a few moments as he contemplates sending the message, a sudden burst of nerves holding him back before he decides to count to 3 and just get it over with.  It sends and he’s left to wait for a reply, which is fine because he has wings and beer to occupy his time. And Jongdae, but Baekhyun chooses to ignore him. 

 

“What’d you say?” 

 

“... I told him he was bendy.” 

 

Jongdae face palms, “What the fuck.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun isn’t usually one to get worked up over people. Not even people he had taken interest in in the past. The way he sees it is, if the person he’s interested in holds the same interest then that’s great, and if they don’t feel the same way then that’s fine too. What’s funny is, Kai isn’t someone he asked out, yet Baekhyun feels oddly antsy and finds himself checking his Tumblr more often. Which Jongdae picks up on and informs Chanyeol about, and that’s why Baekhyun is currently rubbing his temples at his computer desk, trying to block out their teasing comments. 

 

“Observe Chanyeol,” Jongdae’s saying, “what we have here is a Baekhyun hard at work; researching piano chords so he can put together his next cover, but be well aware that he has superkaiyan’s Tumblr opened in another tab.” 

 

“Byun Baekhyun, under the thumb of a stranger. I never thought I’d see the day,” Chanyeol hums, and Baekhyun hates them both. 

 

Honestly, though, he’s not sure why he’s being like this. Maybe Kai’s dancing touched him on another level he didn’t know he had. Or something like that. 

 

“I’m not under his thumb,” Baekhyun sighs. “I just think it’s important that he knows that I appreciate his work. Every artist loves to hear compliments, you know.” 

 

“Yes, we know, Mr. Ego,” Chanyeol jokes dryly. 

 

Baekhyun flips him the finger and mindlessly refreshes his dashboard for the nth time within the span of 15 minutes before switching over to a different tab to refresh superkaiyan’s blog. He doesn’t want to look like he’s waiting for an answer but… he’s waiting for an answer. The blog page stays the same and Baekhyun is expecting his ask box to stay the same with only 6 messages occupying it. He’d already answered most of the asks he had received over night but as someone with a short attention span, he tends to get lazy and answer the rest whenever. 

 

What he gets, however, is a surprise. A very pleasant surprise. There right before his eyes,  above the little inbox icon, is the number  _ 7 _ . The chances of this being another one of his followers is very probable, but there’s still that tiny sliver of a chance that it could possibly be none other than superkaiyan. 

 

The next few moments feel as though they’re in slow motion as Baekhyun clicks on his inbox, eyes squinted as he leans forward, not wanting to seem too eager because the last thing he wants is for Jongdae and Chanyeol to open their mouths with their teasing and ruin the moment. Baekhyun keeps his eyes squinted so the page blurs, and he’s not sure why he’s doing it exactly, but he is so he rolls with it. When he does stop squinting, he’s able to see that, much to his immense pleasure, superkaiyan has indeed responded. 

 

“HE ANSWERED!” Baekhyun shouts abruptly. He can hear Chanyeol gasp in surprise at his sudden outburst while Jongdae snorts and starts teasing Chanyeol because of his facial expression. 

 

“Good, now you can stop slouching over getting no response.” 

 

Baekhyun scoffs, “I was not slouching because of him. I slouch because I’m too lazy to sit straight.” 

 

“You were extra slouching.” 

 

“And you’re extra annoying. Shush.” 

 

Baekhyun needs complete silence for this. 

 

 

 

 **Superkaiyan asked you:** _Oh wow, um thank you??? I didn’t expect you to watch it so excuse me for being a bit… starstruck? at the moment lol_

 

_ Starstruck _ . He’s “a bit starstruck” by Baekhyun? It’s not that Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s good; he knows he is, but he doesn’t think he’s  _ starstruck _ good. 

 

“Oh my god,” he mumbles. “Oh my god.” 

 

“What?” Chanyeol’s suddenly leaning over him and peering at the screen, and Baekhyun is way too distracted to tell Chanyeol to get his sweaty, smelly body out of his personal Baekhyun bubble. Chanyeol had come to Baekhyun’s right after his nightly gym visit and, while his ever-growing muscles are beautiful, Baekhyun definitely does not want to have to smell his efforts to stay in shape. 

 

“Yeol, you really fucking stink. You’re lucky I’m too distracted to kick your ass out.” 

 

“Starstruck? By what?” Chanyeol wonders out loud.

 

Baekhyun deadpans, “By what… By me, asshole.” 

 

And then Jongdae appears, mirroring Chanyeol’s actions and leaning over Baekhyun to peer at the screen. Jongdae at least smells better, so it kind of balances out Chanyeol’s stinch which makes for a slightly happier Baekhyun. 

 

“Should we leave you be during such an emotional moment?” 

 

Baekhyun waves his hand to shush Jongdae and instead tries to think of what to reply with, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, unmoving. How to keep the conversation going, that is the question. Internet conversations can go one of two ways; they either last for hours and are full of random things and deep discussion, or they’re extremely awkward and dead before they even start. Baekhyun has been involved in both types of conversations, has talked to people he connected with instantly and has talked to people that he had absolutely nothing in common with. He likes to think he’s pretty good at conversations regardless, though. 

 

Except for this one apparently. 

 

“I’m stumped,”  he whines, fingers still hovering and still unmoving. 

 

“That’s a first,” Chanyeol makes a poor attempt at a serious tone. He gives Baekhyun a reassuring pat on the back before slinking away into the living room to slip his shoes on. “Good luck, though. I’m gonna head home and shower.” 

 

“Thank god, I can smell your pits from all the way in here,” Jongdae tells him seriously. 

 

Chanyeol scoffs, “I may be stinky, but I’m totally ripped bro.”

 

It takes all of 5 seconds for Jongdae and Baekhyun to burst into laughter, and it’s not long before Chanyeol is cracking a smile of his own. He bids his farewell with his middle finger raised, and Jongdae decides to bail shortly after that, muttering something about how Minseok is going to kill him for failing to be on time once again. 

 

And so Baekhyun sits and contemplates. Sits and contemplates. At one point he walks and contemplates, but then he’s back to sitting and contemplating after he devours a bowl of ramen. He flops on his couch, paces around his apartment, busies himself by rummaging through his cabinets despite having just eaten, and none of that helps a single bit. 

 

Finally, after what felt like hours of thinking and drawing blanks, Baekhyun drags himself back to his computer and types out the first thing that happens to pop into his mind. 

 

_ Starstruck by me? I’ll let you in on a little secret; I’m not as cool as my covers make me seem lmao. Also, just bc I’m dying of curiosity, Kai isn’t your real name is it? _

 

He quickly presses send before his nerves can get the better of him, but they end up hitting him a moment later when he’s left to wonder if he had been too brave too early on. But then again, he couldn’t think of another way to keep the conversation going. He can at least say that this message is more toned down compared to the previous one. He gives himself a pat on the back for that as he shuts out the lights in his kitchen and then crawls into bed, suddenly very aware of how late it is. 

 

And so the cycle of waiting for a reply repeats.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun wakes up feeling extremely lethargic, reluctant to emerge from his warm cocoon of blankets and face the cold, outside world. His apartment, he’s referring to his apartment. It always holds a bitter chill in the morning. That is, until he remembers he needs to check Tumblr. He bolts up and scrambles to find his phone, wrestling with his blankets as he wiggles and thrashes about and feels around under his pillow and in the dips and creases of his mattress. 

 

“Only I could manage to lose a phone in such close proximity,” he mumbles, voice laced with grogginess as he blindly reaches behind him, lifting up what little bit he can to check under his butt. Low and behold, there his phone lays. Amazing. He somehow manages to open the Tumblr app with one eye half open and the other shut as he flops back down so he’s laying once more, snuggling into the warmth of his sheets and opens his inbox. 

 

Usually, he wakes up to 3 or 5 messages he’d received overnight, most of which consist of random questions in attempt to dig into his personal life because people on Tumblr are shameless, but today he wakes up to  _ superkaiyan _ being the first name that appears in his ask box. He suddenly feels a tad bit perkier, which on another level makes him feel a bit pathetic. 

 

 **superkaiyan asked you:** _anyone with piano skills like that is cool no matter what. and no, Kai isn’t my real name but my best friend thought it would make me appear “cooler” if I used a different name. he even picked it out himself lmao idk something about me being like two different people compared to when i perform and when i’m like slaying away at university. the joys of living a double life right? you can call me Jongin though ^^_

 

His feet end up kicking to their own accord, as if he’s some overly excited teenager who’s just landed his first date, and he’s never been so happy to be alone in his life so he can avoid the embarrassment he would experience if any of his friends were around. 

 

_ Double life? So by day, you’re a normal college student and by night you’re a performer huh _ , is what Baekhyun sends back. It may be a little brazen at this point, but it’ll break the ice more and that’s exactly what Baekhyun wants. He feels that once he’s bold enough to be a bit playful during conversations, it makes it easier for the other person to play along, and that makes talking way easier. A conversational genius, he is. 

 

Rolling out of bed, Baekhyun reaches a dead limb up to scratch the top of his scalp as he trudges his way to the bathroom, sleepily tripping over his own two feet on the way. Really it’s a bit too early to be up on a Saturday, he usually sleeps in until almost noon, but he can’t deny the slight skip in his step, and he doesn’t want to go back to sleep in case  _ Jongin _ responds. He decides to text Jongdae and Chanyeol because if there’s something that can keep him awake, it’s those two, both of which who are abnormally chipper and loud in the mornings. 

 

And also Baekhyun just really wants to brag about how he’s now on a first name basis with Jongin. The tell-tale signs of a forming friendship. He shall mark this morning off as quite successful. 

 

He buzzes through his morning routine; brushes his teeth, washes his face, attempts to style his hair and eventually ends up ruffling it to tousled perfection. Effortless beauty, he must say. Sure, tiredness is still settled in the creases of his face and there may be a small blemish forming on the tip of his nose, but other than that he’s pretty satisfied with his appearance. His mother always was a bit of an artist. 

 

He then trails back into his bedroom and pulls on a pair of pants and his favorite Supreme hoodie, because really what else does his wardrobe consist of? Besides the few flannels hiding somewhere in the pile of laundry he has yet to touch and probably won’t touch until, like, three weeks from now. Adulting at its finest. 

 

Around the time he begins rummaging through his cabinets, which need to be restocked, he dully notes, his phone begins dinging obnoxiously, signaling that Jongdae and Chanyeol have stirred from the depths of slumber.

 

 **pcyuck:** _the sun has risen_

 

 **pcyuck:** _it’s me good morning_

 

**jongae:** _ the only thing that shines on you is your oily t zone we all know who the real sun is _

 

 **baekhyun :** _sent a photo_

 

**baekhyun :** _ yeah me _

 

 **jongae:** _my stomach isn’t strong enough to handle this so early in the morning jesus christ_

 

 **pcyuck:** _that would explain the looming cloud of dark over my apartment complex_

 

**baekhyun :** _ fuck you both you’re blessed  _

 

 **baekhyun :** _anyways it has been a magical morning my dudes_

 

 **pcyuck:** _if you’re about to spew horrible things about morning glory pls stop typing_

 

 **baekhyun :** _first of all my morning glory is exactly that; glory_

 

**baekhyun :** _ and second of all stop assuming the only thing i can talk about is dicks _

 

 **jongae:** _but it is?_

 

Baekhyun huffs out a sigh and sends a series of middle finger emojis. It is too damn early for their shit. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _i have a deep appreciation for the male anatomy let me fucking live_

 

 **baekhyun :** _now shut up and listen bc I am now on a first name basis with jongin_

 

 **baekhyun :** _ya know the pretty dancer boy_

 

 **pcyuck:** _has he seen your dick yet_

 

 **baekhyun :** _i swear to god_

 

 **pcyuck:** _so he has_

 

 **baekhyun :** _no!!!!_

 

 **jongae:** _you can't just send unsolicited dick pics to someone without knowing their sexuality even baekhyun knows that_

 

Oh yeah. Sexuality. That might’ve slipped Baekhyun’s mind and he suddenly finds himself in a slight panic, regret swelling up like the first flickering flame of a horrible wildfire because,  _ oh no _ , he had flirted with someone without knowing their sexuality. Flirting can be harmless, can be a casual thing between friends, and Baekhyun is so used to being shameless with people in his everyday life that he forgets that boundaries  _ do _ exist and his words may make Jongin uncomfortable. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _um .. i may have fucked up_

 

 **pcyuck:** _perhaps he’s as shameless as we think_

 

**jongae:** _ the one time i defend him  _

 

 **baekhyun :** _i didn’t like say anything awful or nasty_

 

 **baekhyun :** _just … may have implied that he works as a stripper by night or something_

 

 **pcyuck:** _dude wtf_

 

 **jongae:** _this is why we don’t let you interact with a lot of people when we go out_

 

 **baekhyun :** _no it was like idk he said something about how his best friend gave him a stage name so he seemed cooler online and how it was bc he was like two different people during the day compared to when he’s performing_

 

 **baekhyun :** _so then i said “so you’re a college student by day and performer by night huh?” fml_

 

 **jongae:** _there’s still hope let’s all just calm ourselves_

 

**pcyuck:** _ yeah maybe he’ll take it in a totally sarcastic way i mean judging from his posts he seems pretty chill? _

 

 **baekhyun :** _i’m honestly just going to sit at the side of my bed and pray all day_

 

 **jongae:** _save it for later i’m hungry so both of you slobs get ready before breakfast time is over_

 

 **pcyuck:** _k_

 

 **baekhyun :** _i’ve lost the will to move_

 

 **jongae:** _shut up and get ready_

 

And so Baekhyun obliges albeit reluctantly, deciding that caving is better than having his phone flooded with messages from Jongdae, nagging him and getting on his nerves because that’s Jongdae’s talent. He grabs his wallet and makes sure his lights are all off and he didn’t leave anything plugged in because better safe than sorry (a motto he strongly agrees with for many situations) before he’s out the door, giving it a final jiggle to ensure that it’s locked and he won’t be coming home to his most precious items stolen (his favorite dildo and his computer). 

 

He doesn’t open Tumblr until he gets to the cafe, mostly avoiding it out of fear of how Jongin will respond, but he tries not to think about it too much for if he allows thoughts like that to linger he will end up giving himself unnecessary anxiety, and no one needs an anxious Baekhyun. Chanyeol and Jongdae are both already seated and devouring bowls of bean paste stew by the time Baekhyun walks in, which will mix great with the plate of pastries they have sitting to the side. Baekhyun shakes his head distaste. 

 

“You two are like human trash cans,” Baekhyun plops down and grabs a pastry, wastes no time in stuffing it in his mouth with a pout that he’s sure will become permanent by the end of the day. 

 

Chanyeol’s actually inhaling his food, a disgusting sight to see but also amusing, when he asks if Jongin had replied. Baekhyun feels like he’s back in high school hearing that question. 

 

“I haven’t checked.” 

 

“Scared?” 

 

Baekhyun scoffs and nearly chokes on a piece of pastry. “No!” he exclaims, clearing his throat. Neither of his friends look convinced. 

 

“I’m not scared, I’m… uh.” Scared, Baekhyun realizes, is the only way to describe it. Except, it’s more like a  _ tad _ scared. Just a tad. 

 

“He’s scared,” Jongdae confirms with a nod. 

 

“I wouldn’t be too worried about it, Baek. He’s a college kid, they understand sarcasm more than anything.” Chanyeol is at least better at comfort than Jongdae, and his words seem to soften out the frigid edges of Baekhyun’s worry. He’s right, college kids practically speak in dry sarcasm and suggestive banter. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” 

 

Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun decides to finally check Tumblr, a hesitant thumb sliding over his phone screen. It’s ridiculous, he thinks, being so wound up over a message from a sorta-kinda-not-really stranger, but he decides it must be because Jongin’s so incredibly good looking that makes him so weird about the whole thing. Baekhyun’s always had an eye for pretty things and Jongin is a very pretty thing. 

 

_ Oho, wouldn’t you like to know  _  is what Jongin’s reply reads, and the abrupt laughter that leaves Baekhyun’s mouth is a punch to the air, earning himself a set of strange looks from Chanyeol and Jongdae and the elderly couple sitting in the booth on the other side of the cafe. 

 

“I take it the response is good, then?” Chanyeol asks.

 

Baekhyun nods, “Better than that.” 

 

“Whipped,” Jongdae mumbles around a spoonful of stew. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A friendship develops easily between Baekhyun and Jongin. Sure, they’re polar opposites in a lot of ways, but scarily similar in other ways. Jongin, Baekhyun discovered right from the get-go, is how Baekhyun was during his first year of high school; reserved, quiet, and polite almost to a fault. But after nights of messaging combined with Baekhyun’s shamelessness and his ability to make anyone feel comfortable, he had broken through that aloof barrier easily, and it didn’t take long for him and Jongin to fall into a comfortable dynamic made up of witty banter and odd conversations. 

 

It’s refreshing to have someone new. Baekhyun’s always liked discovering people, and sometimes Jongin gets a little bit too philosophical for him, but it’s okay because Baekhyun likes listening anyway. One day they could be talking about self-reassurance and all things intellectual, and the next they could spend hours discussing manga. The in betweens are for randomness, like when Jongin spams Baekhyun’s inbox about a cute dog he had seen that day or when Baekhyun needs to complain about Jongdae’s existence. 

 

Their conversations never go deeper than that, which is expected considering neither of them has built up enough trust in each other to open up on a level that goes beyond talking about basic insecurities and worries every human goes through. Like, Baekhyun doesn’t ask Jongin about his home life or his sexuality or his personal relationships and neither does Jongin. Hell, their deepest conversation was during a bout of stress for the young college student and it had been about whether humans were better at creation or destruction. 

 

“ _ It just stuck in my head because, like, it’s a really good question, you know? Destroying things is easy, right? Everything is fragile and breaks under different amounts of pressure, but creating things is more difficult. It takes time and determination, and humans are impatient and lazy. So, we’re better at destruction, right?” _ Jongin had babbled and Baekhyun’s brain had been sent into a full-blown existential crisis, Jongin’s words making him think on a level he didn’t realize he had. Not that he was complaining; he liked it, in fact. 

 

“Earth to Baekhyun,” Jongdae’s snapping his fingers in front of Baekhyun’s face. He’s been at Jongdae’s for nearly an hour now, waiting while Jongdae goes through outfit after outfit. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“I asked you how this looks,” Jongdae gestures to his shirt. It’s a black button up, casual but dressy enough, and all Baekhyun can do is stare up at Jongdae and blink.

 

“I think it looks like the shirt you tried on first.” 

 

“It is,” Jongdae says casually, as if he hasn’t pointlessly wasted an hour trying on shirts and tossing them aside. 

 

Baekhyun deadpans, “Why are you worse than a woman?” 

 

“We’re going to a club, not a bar. You have to be dressy casual for clubs. It’s unacceptable to just waltz in wearing the clothes you wore to work or something.” 

 

Baekhyun deadpans for the second time in a matter of 30 seconds. “Yep, worse than a woman,” he says. However, he does end up glancing down at his own attire for the night, vaguely questioning his outfit choice before it becomes a forgotten thought because, yes, he looks damn good as per usual. 

 

“Hush, slob.” 

 

“You’re just mad that you have to try extra hard to look good and all I have to do is ruffle my hair a little,” Baekhyun grins, playful and harmless. Jongdae rolls his eyes.

 

“I can never tell if you’re confident in a healthy way, or just really egotistical.” 

 

“The line’s blurred.” Another eye roll as Baekhyun watches as Jongdae uses the tip of his finger to gather the smallest amount of hair wax possible before rubbing his hands together and applying it, giving it just enough texture and volume to make him look effortlessly handsome. 

 

Of course, Baekhyun will take it upon himself to tell any of Jongdae’s possible hook-ups that it takes a lot of effort for him to look decent and that they should reconsider before taking him home. He’s rather gnarly in the mornings. 

 

“Ready?” Jongdae asks when he’s finished, turning to look at Baekhyun, who is too invested in his phone to hear for the hundredth time since he arrived at Jongdae’s. “I swear to God…” he murmurs. 

 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Let me just send Jongin a message real quick.” 

 

Baekhyun’s been trying to think of an excuse to move to another messenger app, like Line or KakaoTalk, because he can’t find the guts to simply ask because Tumblr’s instant messaging feature is just as convenient and Jongin might think that using another is… too intimate or maybe even suffocating. Maybe Baekhyun is just over thinking, but he knows that a majority of his friends only use such apps for their closest friends and he doesn’t think he has any rights to think he’s one of Jongin’s closest friends. Not yet, at least. 

 

But now that he has an excuse (maybe not a good one, but an excuse nonetheless), he feels a bit more confident in asking. 

 

 **baekbyuns:** _question_

 

 **superkaiyan:** _yeah?_

 

 **baekbyuns:** _so i’m going to a club where my friend is DJing and tumblr is always a dick when i’m out in public so um yeah do you have like kkt or line or something?_

 

Baekhyun is still hesitant about sending the message, a small twinge of fear working itself up the longer he waits to send it. It’s not that he feels as though Jongin <i>is</i> going to reject him, but the fear always seems to be lurking somewhere when it comes to Jongin he’s noticed, and Baekhyun isn’t really sure how to stomach that fact, doesn’t know what to make of it. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he slouches forward and lets his shoulders relax as he waits for Jongin’s reply. Minutes tick by and he occupies himself by taking selfies, puffing out his cheeks and pulling funny faces, deleting nearly every one of them after he looks back through them.

 

Jongin’s replying comes not too long after, and what he responds with makes Baekhyun’s stomach swoop. A strange sensation it is, feeling excited and giddy at his age. Over a person on the internet at that. 

 

**superkaiyan:** _ My line ID is kimjong94  _

 

Baekhyun quickly opens Line, punches in Jongin’s ID, and adds him. He definitely doesn’t take a few moments to actually  _ coo _ at Jongin’s icon. Okay, he didn’t  _ plan _ to take a few moments to actually coo at Jongin’s icon, but that’s what he ends up doing and he places all the blame on the fact that Jongin is laying with his chin resting on a Rilakkuma plushie with mussed up hair and a soft expression. 

 

An expression so soft that it matches how Baekhyun’s insides suddenly feel, like cotton candy he gets at the carnival that comes around once a year during fall. For a split moment, he wonders if Jongin’s lips would feel as soft as said cotton candy, just a wetter, plumper version. More tasteful, too. Probably. He wonders how wonderful they would feel if… 

 

He shakes his head as if to rid his mind of the thought because, holy hell, no. He does need something like  _ that _ floating around in his mind. 

 

“If you're done being weird, can we go now? Chanyeol just texted me and said he's waiting outside.” 

 

Baekhyun nods wordlessly, too busy trying to figure out what he should say to start a conversation. It’s a clean slate, the conversation has to be good and can’t start with  _ so about your lips _ . 

 

So, he ends up sending one of the thousand of selfies he’d taken moments prior. He’s pouting in the picture, his cheeks puffed out and his eyes wide and puppy-like, and he knows he looks cute—he hopes Jongin thinks so, too. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _my friend said i look like a slob but i beg to differ_

 

 **jongin :** _they let puppies inside clubs?_

 

 **jongin :** _you’re cute, hyung_

 

Baekhyun doesn’t hear Chanyeol dog him for his outfit choice as he manages to blindly make his way into the front seat of Chanyeol’s car, eyes still glued to Jongin’s reply. He struggles to remind himself that Jongin probably meant what he said in the most platonic way possible. Still, he can’t shake the noticeable swoop in his stomach. 

 

And somewhere in Suncheon, a college student finds himself in a panic.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun is used to forming bonds with people easily. It’s natural to him to connect with others, easy for him to spark up friendships whether they’re close ones or just casual ones. Or even fleeting ones, the ones that last for a day or so if he’s talking to someone over the internet. 

 

What he’s not used to, is forming bonds with a person he’s never met and having a bond built so quickly yet so intensely that he feels like he’s known Jongin since his childhood. And that’s scary. He certainly hadn’t expected this to come out of talking to Jongin. Had he been looking to make friends with him? Yes. Had been looking to develop an inkling of a crush on the kid? No. He thought Jongin was attractive, but that doesn’t mean he was looking for actual feelings to arise. 

 

It’s not like it’s a huge deal, not like he’s going to try and win Jongin’s heart because he’s pretty positive that Jongin is definitely straight judging by the way he talks about this one girl in his dance class ( _ she’s older than me but made me buy her ice cream, which is fine cuz she’s really nice and cute but now i’m broke isn’t it awful hyung? _ ), but it’s still  _ something _ . It’s something that Baekhyun fears will continue growing, and possibly falling for a straight guy is something Baekhyun can’t let himself do. For obvious reasons and personal reasons.

 

“I’m so impossibly screwed,” he sighs to himself, grabbing for his phone when Jongin’s name appears on the screen. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **jongin :** _i’m in the middle of stalking all of your covers_

 

 **jongin :** _you’re so talented, hyung_

 

Baekhyun is not blushing. He’s in public, squished on a bus between two older men who look fit to snarl at anyone if they make the slightest move, and he is not blushing. His face does not feel hot, his neck isn’t suddenly flushed, and he’s fine. 

 

At least, that’s what he wishes were the case. The reality of it all is, yes, he is flustered and blushing and this whole thing is Jongin’s fault. Baekhyun usually loves having his ego stroked, basks in the acknowledgment of his talents, but it’s different when Jongin compliments him. It doesn’t make him feel superior or self-satisfied; it makes him feel warm and shy, like he doesn’t deserve the praise Jongin gives him because  _ there are others better than me _ . Still, he finds himself grinning uncontrollably at his phone, not caring that he ends up receiving strange looks from said grumpy looking men.   

 

 **baekhyun :** _aish jongin i’m not that great_

 

 **baekhyun :** _although i won’t deny that my fingers are quite talented_

 

Baekhyun sends the message before realization can dawn on him, and when it does, he ends up facepalming so hard he’s sure there’s a red handprint on his forehead. His panic spikes when  _ read _ appears next to his messages, signaling that Jongin has seen and will probably not reply to because  _ how fucking weird, Baekhyun _ . 

 

Out of habit, his fingers find their way to his mouth. He bites at them absentmindedly, forgetting that he’s still in public, not really caring at the moment—he has other things to worry about than how utterly pornographic his actions must look to all the passengers. And it does look pornographic; Jongdae has said so many times. It’s not intentional, it’s just Baekhyun’s nervous habit, but he can see why it may be considered  _ dirty _ to everyone that doesn’t know him and his quirks. 

 

 **jongin :** _my hips are my talented body part i think_

 

The reply is purely innocent. It’s obvious that there is no hidden dirty meaning behind the words, but that doesn’t stop Baekhyun’s brain from supplying some lovely mental images for him and,  _ oh god _ , he’s going to pop a boner in public. 

 

**baekhyun :** s _ o i’ve seen (; _

 

Flustered as he may be, he’s still shameless above all.

 

He’s quick to casually cross his legs and he manages to stay in that position until he gets home, but he fails in clearing his head of the awful thoughts. No, those stay with him for the remainder of the night, even when Jongin replies with  _ hyunnng be quiet _ , which only gives Baekhyun more things to think about. 

 

Jongin falls asleep somewhere between 1 and 2 A.M., and Baekhyun feels like he has room to breathe finally. Having dealt with sexual urges nearly the whole time they talked, he thinks he deserves some kind of award or something for pushing them aside and not caving. He had kept his hand out of his pants and he chooses to reward himself with sleep, which would probably be a lot easier to do if he wasn’t half-hard still. 

 

He falls asleep oblivious to the fact that in Suncheon a 21-year-old had fallen asleep with soiled tissues disposed into the small trash can at his bedside. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can’t believe you get boners so easily. Didn’t you graduate high school?” 

 

“Can’t really blame him, Dae. He hasn’t really had a sex life since Kyungsoo.”

 

“Seriously?” 

 

“I hate you both. Boners aren’t always signs of arousal. Haven’t you ever heard of biology?”

 

“Yeah, but we’ve also heard of a hot college dancer that apparently has amazing hips. What do you think that implies? Like, do you think he uses them languidly or roughly?” 

 

“Shut the hell up. What do you think that implies?” 

 

“That you’ll probably pop another boner if I continue talking, so I’m going to shut up. You know, to save everyone here from having nightmares.” 

 

Baekhyun’s friends suck. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexual urges are things Baekhyun can deal with. They can be solved by a trusty hand or toy if a partner isn’t available or existent, or they can be willed away by off-putting thoughts (Baekhyun’s favorites to use are Chanyeol after the gym or Jongdae when he’s whining). Easy fixes, right? Right. 

 

However, pining is something that Baekhyun doesn’t do well with. He’s a pretty touchy person, likes skinship and clinging when people let him, likes showing his affection without using words, and Jongin being nowhere near him is quickly becoming a problem. A bigger problem than it was yesterday and the day before yesterday. 

 

Sometimes Jongin gets affectionate. It doesn’t happen often, which is probably a good thing for Baekhyun’s sake, but when he does, he  _ does _ . Baekhyun realizes that Jongin is unaware of the effect he has, but  _ fuck _ , it makes Baekhyun turn into a ball of complete mush. In this state, Jongin could ask Baekhyun for the most impossible things and Baekhyun would jump at the request without a second thought. Like, he could ask Baekhyun to try and eat with his mouth glued shut and Baekhyun would dumbly agree because his brain has turned into a puddle with Jongin saying things like  _ sehun’s an ass and refuses to cuddle with me i wish you were within driving distance _ . 

 

“Oh my goddd,” he groans, rolling over onto his back and closing his eyes. “He’s awful. Honestly the worst.” Jongin is the  _ worst _ . 

 

“Awe, look at our Baekhyun all flustered,” Chanyeol coos mockingly. And Baekhyun would throw something at him, like a shoe or a pillow, but he’s currently made out of jelly and can’t bring himself to do anything but whine into the void. 

 

“I haven’t seen him like this since—” 

 

“Don’t say Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun interrupts. “That was different.”

 

“You were whipped back then and you’re whipped now,” Jongdae points out. Baekhyun ignores him. 

 

 **jongin :** _sent a photo_

 

The first thing Baekhyun notices is that Jongin is pouting.  _ Pouting _ . Behind him is a lump that Baekhyun assumes is the infamous Sehun that Jongin is always bitching about. 

 

 **jongin :** _look at this asshole hogging my bed -_- he refuses to move should i kick him to the floor or_

 

Baekhyun laughs, ignoring the looks Chanyeol and Jongdae exchange with each other as he rolls back over onto his stomach and takes a quick picture of himself. He pouts and angles his phone just so Jongdae and Chanyeol are caught in the background, a recreation of what Jongin had sent. 

 

**baekhyun :** _ i can’t get these idiots to leave _

 

 **jongin :** _you look really soft and sehun is as uncomfortable as a surfboard :(_

 

Baekhyun’s stomach flips 360 degrees and his skin feels oddly tingly, as if there’s a chill creeping under his skin but the chill is non-existent because everything is  _ warm _ . His cheeks feel especially warm, and Jongdae kindly points out that Baekhyun is turning the color of a tomato. 

 

**baekhyun :** _ i will have you know i’m not soft i may look it but i’ve got abs of steel under this hoodie _

 

Baekhyun isn’t entirely lying. He’ll be the first to admit that his body is in good shape; maybe not in shape like Chanyeol’s, but good nonetheless. He just has a few soft edges and, yes, he would totally let Jongin use those soft edges for whatever kind of comfort he needs. 

 

 **jongin :** _i’m afraid i’m gonna need to see it to believe it, hyung_

 

Baekhyun’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head. Oh god, oh  _ fuck _ , Jongin wants to see his abs. Jongin wants Baekhyun to take off his shirt and take a picture and—

 

 **jongin :** _sorry, sehun snatched my phone and decided to be an ass_

 

 **jongin :** _you don’t have to prove anything_

 

It’s weird that Baekhyun isn’t as relieved as he should be. In fact, he feels a bit disappointed more than anything, and he thinks he knows why but that’s a whole bout of complication he doesn’t want to get into. Jongin is an internet friend, someone Baekhyun will most likely never meet in person, and so he doesn’t really have a good reason to be disappointed. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _awe that’s too bad, my abs are great for viewing pleasures_

 

Yes Baekhyun, continue using sarcasm as a defense mechanism. Jongin would probably notice something was wrong if Baekhyun had replied with something different because he’s so damn good at analyzing people and getting inside their heads. 

 

 **jongin :** _i mean hey, if you wanna show them then be my guest_

 

An open invitation, meaning Jongin could care less whether Baekhyun does or doesn’t expose himself, and that only makes Baekhyun’s disappointment grow. Then again, what else would he expect from a straight college student? 

 

“Who kicked the puppy?” Jongdae asks, directing the question to Chanyeol. Baekhyun whines and shoves his face into his pillow. 

 

“Baek?” 

 

“Having a crush on straight guy sucks,” Baekhyun says, voice muffled. 

 

“Has he ever actually said he’s straight?” 

 

“Does he know you’re gay?” 

 

Baekhyun groans and turns his head, looking at the two younger males. “Yes, he knows I’m gay.” 

 

Jongin had been extremely accepting when Baekhyun had told him, reassuring him that he has nothing against anyone’s sexuality and that wouldn’t change his outlook on Baekhyun at all. “And he doesn’t have to say he’s straight, if he were gay he would’ve mentioned something about it when I told him that I’m gay.” 

 

“Shit,” is all Chanyeol says. 

 

Jongdae plops down next to Baekhyun and gives the back of his neck a reassuring squeeze, “On the bright side, it’s an internet crush, right? Maybe it won’t be so hard to get over.” 

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun sighs, “maybe.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s about 3 months into their totally wonderful yet equally frustrating friendship when the idea of a skype call starts lingering around in Baekhyun’s mind. It’s probably a bad idea considering that Baekhyun’s slight (ever growing) crush is still intact, but Baekhyun can’t find it in himself to really care, especially after watching Jongin’s newest dance cover. 

 

It’s rare that Jongin does contemporary covers. He usually goes with hip-hop, choosing songs that he can really move to—which is awful for Baekhyun because  _ wow, hip movements!!! _ —, so when he does decide to do contemporary, Baekhyun can only appreciate what a blessing it is. Because Jongin looks angelic in his newest video, brown hair looking soft to the touch as he’s clad in a pair of black fitted jeans and a loose white button up, and Baekhyun  _ needs _ to see him on video call. Pining is an awful, awful thing, and Baekhyun curses himself for being weak. 

 

There are two ways Baekhyun can go about this. He can either hint off to it and hope that Jongin gets it, or he can be straightforward like any normal person and just ask. It’s not a big deal, people do it all the time all in a completely platonic manner, right? It’s a casual thing, but it’s a casual thing that shouldn’t be  _ this _ hard. 

 

Baekhyun has never been a beat around the bush kind of person. Hell, even with Kyungsoo, the epitome of reserved and almost unapproachable, Baekhyun was straightforward and persistent. Then again, Kyungsoo, like Baekhyun, is openly bi-sexual, and Baekhyun knew he had at least a smidgen of a chance. With Jongin, wonderful and smart and talented and  _ straight _ , Baekhyun already knows it’s a hopeless battle, that there’s a boundary there, but he just doesn’t know  _ where _ . 

 

Is it weird for a gay dude to ask a straight dude for a skype call? Would the straight dude feel uncomfortable despite knowing it’s completely platonic? Baekhyun’s not sure, but he supposes that asking and getting a direct answer is better than sitting around and wondering. 

 

 **jongin :** _sehun dragged me to a party and now I have no clue where he is_

 

 **jongin :** _and there's people doing pot next to me how did I end up here_

 

Baekhyun laughs at how innocent Jongin is coming off, and he can almost imagine how lost Jongin must look, staying away from the center of the room yet finding himself stuck with a crowd completely unfamiliar to him. It’s cute and it makes Baekhyun laugh. 

 

 **jongin :** _they offered me a joint and i got all weird and stuttered and made a beeline for the bathroom and now idk what to do???_

 

 **baekhyun :** _not used to parties?_

 

 **jongin :** _hate them, i only come because of sehun and he’s always telling me i need to get out and experience shit but this is not ideal i miss my bed_

 

 **baekhyun :** _lmao so ditch, i’m sure he’ll understand_

 

 **jongin :** _i always ditch and he nags me for it the next day_

 

 **baekhyun :** _sucks :( i was gonna see if you wanted to skype actually_

 

Seems casual enough, Baekhyun thinks. He managed to smoothly slip it in the conversation and that’s that. 

 

**jongin :** _ yeah? _

 

 **baekhyun :** _yep (⌒‿⌒)_

 

 **baekhyun :** _just figured it’d be nice? Idk if that’s weird or anything but_

 

A sudden wave of nerves hit in Jongin’s silence. It’s really not a big deal, but Baekhyun finds himself chewing on his nails in fear that he made the wrong move as the seconds tick by. He tries to keep his eyes off his phone and focus on something else, but his attention keeps drifting back over to his phone, waiting and anticipating Jongin’s reply. Only when the reply comes does Baekhyun stop biting his nails and pacing around. 

 

 **jongin :** _give me like 15 minutes_

 

Baekhyun has never rushed to the bathroom to primp himself so fast in his life. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first words out of Baekhyun’s mouth when Jongin’s face appears on his computer screen are, “Oh wow,” and Jongin ends up giggling. They’re not even a minute into the call and Baekhyun is already 100% sure he’s not going to make it out of this alive, especially if Jongin giggles anymore. 

 

“Oh wow yourself,” Jongin says. Baekhyun can’t help but momentarily freeze up as the deepness of Jongin’s voice reaches part of Baekhyun he didn’t know he had. If dark chocolate had a sound, Baekhyun is sure this is what it would sound like; rich and sweet and velvety. 

 

Baekhyun had never been in shock before, but this is probably the closest he’s ever been to it. Seeing Jongin in a video where he’s moving at a constant except for the few seconds during the intro and seeing him right in front of his face, slightly pixelated but still beautiful, are two completely different things. He was right; he’s a different person when he’s not dancing. He’s golden skin and pink, plush lips and sharp angles with soft edges. Baekhyun’s heart swoops low into his gut. 

 

“You… look way different,” Baekhyun says intelligently. 

 

Jongin is quick to look down, but only for a few seconds. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” he asks. 

 

Baekhyun honestly doesn’t know. 

 

“You look like a puppy,” Jongin says before Baekhyun can think of a response. 

 

“Like cute puppy or ferocious puppy?” 

 

“You’re definitely not ferocious.” 

 

Baekhyun lets his shoulders slump in defeat, “Damn.” 

 

“The pouting only emphasizes it,” Jongin tells him pointedly. 

 

Baekhyun retaliates by sticking his tongue out, and Jongin laughs cutely, which results in Baekhyun feeling satisfied and accomplished. There are a few seconds of silence save for the sound of bedsprings squeaking as Jongin moves around, and in those few seconds, Baekhyun’s fingers somehow find their way to his mouth. 

 

He’s too lost in biting on the tips of his fingers and tugging at his lips to realize that on the other end of the call, Jongin is flushed bright pink, praying that his shitty lighting will cover it up, and trying to wrack his brain for  _ words _ . But all he can do is watching Baekhyun’s mouth, and the abrupt rush of heat tells him that he really needs to look away. 

 

“So um, Sehun’s for sure going to kill me tomorrow,” he settles for. It’s a topic and that’s all that matters. “He says I’m too much of a loner. What was college like for you, hyung?” 

 

A laugh leaves Baekhyun’s lips on the spot. He pulls his fingers away from his mouth, the thought of what it would be like to have Jongin’s mouth on his fingers lingering in some filthy part of his brain, and sinks back in his seat. “I was the Sehun of my friend group when I was in college.” 

 

Jongin hums, “I’m not surprised. You seem like the social type.” 

 

“And you’re my polar opposite. You know what they say about opposites, don’t you?” A smirk slips onto his face easily. Baekhyun is quick to wipe it away when he thinks of the misunderstandings he could cause. “That they click well, silly.” 

 

“So we click well?” This time, it’s Jongin who’s smirking. Baekhyun was right—he’s not going to make it out alive. 

 

“I mean, yeah? Total opposites, an extrovert, and an introvert, but we’re similar in a lot of ways. Except when you get all Albert freaking Einstein on me and I have no clue what you’re talking about,” Baekhyun says with a slight pout. 

 

The laugh Jongin lets out is wonderful and bright, something Baekhyun wishes he could hear in person instead of through a computer screen where it sounds a bit disembodied and staticky. It’d probably be nice to see his face in person, too. Although, Baekhyun would, in fact, turn into a babbling idiot and most likely expose the small bundle of feelings he’s currently trying to keep tucked away. 

 

“You like it, don’t lie,” Jongin tells him, playful and teasing. Baekhyun presses his lips together, ends up grinning anyway, and rolls his eyes. It may have been intended as a joke, but Jongin isn’t wrong; Baekhyun does like it. He likes that Jongin has deep thoughts that make Baekhyun think. Sure, at first it made his brain hurt after talking to Jongin, but now he likes it. 

 

“I guess,” Baekhyun shrugs.  _ Don’t start gushing _ . “You’re pretty interesting, you know?” Too late. 

 

Jongin’s eyes widen briefly, “Interesting? Wow, I’ve never heard that before.” 

 

Baekhyun tilts his head questioningly. 

 

“Polite, quiet, philosophy nerd.” 

 

“And when you dance? Wait, what’s your major?” 

 

“Philosophy. My parents kinda persuaded me because it was a safer choice.” The disappointment in Jongin’s voice is evident, and Baekhyun frowns on auto-pilot. 

 

“It’s not what you want, is it?” 

 

Jongin shakes his head, “I’ve been dancing since I was eight. I’ll admit that it’s an uncertain career choice, and changing my major would be stupid of me to do because I don’t exactly hate the major I chose, but I’ll end up dancing no matter what. I have a gut feeling.” 

 

Baekhyun really likes how Jongin’s face lights up when he talks about the thing he loves and, with such a contagious smile, Baekhyun can’t help but smile as well. 

 

“I take it you majored in music?” 

 

Baekhyun nods fondly, “Yeah, although my plans didn’t exactly work out how I wanted. But that’s okay, I still play piano for a living.” 

 

Jongin pulls a pillow into his lap, hugs it to his chest and rests his chin against it. Baekhyun’s heart flutters at the sight because Jongin suddenly looks small and fragile, makes Baekhyun want to reach through his computer screen and pull Jongin into his arms. He’s so distracted that he almost doesn’t hear when Jongin asks him what his plans were. 

 

“Oh uh,” Baekhyun clears his throat, “concert pianist.” 

 

“What stopped you?” 

 

The question hits deep inside of Baekhyun, throwing him off guard, forcing him to remember things he’d spent two years getting over. He swallows. 

 

“I was supposed to perform at a concert during my senior year of college. It was a huge deal seeing as very few students were going to be selected to go tour and work alongside the best of the best,” Baekhyun smiles at the memory of an opportunity he once had and continues speaking before regret can come creeping in.

 

“The tour was six months long. I had a boyfriend I couldn’t bring myself to leave behind. So, I didn’t go. Six months after that, he called it quits.” His smile is no longer fond. It's now tinged with a sadness as he glances down at his hands, “He said he couldn’t handle being with me knowing he was the reason I was so miserable.” 

 

Sympathy flashes in Jongin’s eyes, his lips turned into a small frown. “Do you still love him?” 

 

“I take it you’ve never had a first love?” Baekhyun’s brow arches. Jongin’s nonchalant shrug gives him his answer. 

 

“You always love your first love. Am I still in love with him? No. I learned a lot from that relationship.” 

 

Jongin hums, “Look who has a deep side now.” 

 

Baekhyun snorts and rolls his eyes. 

 

They stay up until nearly 2 A.M., telling each other things they’ve never told anyone, talking about their fears and wants and all the little things in between. Between Jongin’s obnoxious giggles and his soft smiles, Baekhyun feels himself dip his toes too far in the water. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skyping becomes a regular thing. Baekhyun knows that Jongin thinks nothing of it, because they’re friends and it’s a casual friend thing to do, but Baekhyun is starting to feel some very odd… side effects. For example; every time Jongin speaks about his weird, deep shit, Baekhyun is tempted to take notes and he has no idea why. He just wants to keep Jongin’s words on paper so he can read them over whenever he wants, which is really fucking weird and,  _ oh man _ , Jongdae and Chanyeol cannot find out about this. 

 

Other than that, he’s been experiencing intense urges of wanting to pull Jongin into his bed and stick to him like a leech for, like, 50 hours and maybe even press his nose against the nape of Jongin’s neck because he imagines it’s probably super comforting. Kissing Jongin until he’s breathless has also been crossing his mind. And sometimes his heart just kinda, you know, leaps into his throat whenever Jongin gives him that stupid half-smile of his. 

 

So, you could say Baekhyun’s life is going swell. 

 

He’s possibly fallen too deep into an internet friendship with little to no possible chance of a positive outcome. Not the outcome that Baekhyun wants anyway. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What does falling in love feel like?” Jongin asks one day. It’s out of the blue, catching Baekhyun off-guard like he always does. 

 

Curiosity spikes. On one hand, Baekhyun wants to know what caused Jongin to ask this so abruptly, but another part of him thinks he’d be better off not knowing. 

 

He goes quiet, trying to remember a now foreign feeling, something that happened once upon a time. He could tell Jongin all the bad parts of it, the worries and hidden fears and predictions of the end before there’s barely even a beginning, but that wouldn’t be exactly fair. It’s not all bad. 

 

“It’s kind of like… everything is blooming, you know? You’re not sure how to describe what you’re feeling, but you know it’s overwhelming and you don’t know what to do with those feelings. You’ll try to run from them at first, but you know that you’ll eventually succumb and give up the fight. ” 

 

Jongin only nods, gets really quiet and starts picking at the sleeve of his shirt. “Thanks, hyung,” he says. 

 

The next night, Jongin doesn’t message Baekhyun until it’s half past midnight. 

 

 **jongin :** _sorry hyung, i’ve been out all day with a friend_

 

Not specifically Sehun this time.

 

 **baekhyun :** _did you have fun? ｡^‿^｡_

 

Baekhyun’s chest doesn’t feel too great. 

 

**jongin :** _ yeah except now i’m broke lol _

 

 **jongin :** _anyways i’ll talk to you in the morning, goodnight hyung_

 

 **baekhyun :** _goodnight brat （´○｀）～ゝ_

 

Baekhyun spends half the night tossing and turning. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Realizations hit at 3 A.M., and that’s why Baekhyun stopped staying up so late because realizations are scary sometimes. At 3 A.M., Baekhyun thinks about a golden boy with a heart melting smile, his deep thoughts, his love for dance, his shyness, and his boldness. 

 

At 3 A.M., Baekhyun wonders how in the hell he ended up in such a situation. He doesn’t know if he should blame himself for initiating the friendship or if he should blame Jongin for being so charming and wonderful. Still, those can’t be blamed for what his heart feels. It just happened before Baekhyun was able to grasp the severity of the situation. 

 

So, here he is at 3 A.M., wide awake and anxious and in the middle of one hell of a realization. Somewhere between the late night conversations and the hours worth of skype calls, Baekhyun realizes he might just a little bit in love. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Just send him the damn message, Jongin. How else do you expect to figure yourself out without ever meeting him in person? We have two weeks off school and you’re leaving at the end of summer. It’s now or never.” 

 

“I’m only leaving for a month…” 

 

“Do you really want to drag this situation out any longer?” 

 

“...” 

 

“Jongin.” 

 

“No, damn it.” 

 

“Then just ask him. If you two are as close as you say you are, then he’ll be completely for it. Besides, I can’t have you hanging around me the whole two weeks. I gotta get laid somehow.” 

 

“Gee, thanks. How the hell am I supposed to even ask? What if he finds it weird?” 

 

“Everything you do is weird, Jongin. Just do it.” 

 

“But Sehun…”

 

“Give me your phone.”

 

“Wha—wait no, what are you doing?” 

 

“Being a good best friend and helping your hopeless ass out.” 

 

“No! No, I’ll do it. Give me my phone back, asshat.” 

 

Fingers tremble as they type, and a heart finds itself beating too quickly. 

 

 **jongin :** _so i’m on break for two weeks, i was thinking of maybe coming to visit you? if you want me to it’s totally cool if you’re not comfortable with it_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“We’ve got a major fucking problem. Like, the end all be all of problems. I’m talking the disaster sophomore year of college level disaster, except this is way worse than having everyone think that I fucked my professor—”

 

“Dude, you were caught blowing him in the music room,” Jongdae interrupts. 

 

“I wasn’t blowing him, it was just bad positioning and bad timing. That’s beside the point! Weren’t you listening to me?” Baekhyun is stressed. Beyond stressed, and Jongdae is no help as usual. 

 

“Right, you were getting all squeaky over something. Proceed.” 

 

“Jongdae, he wants to come visit me,” Baekhyun whines almost comically. Except, there’s nothing comical about this situation at all. Baekhyun is very much in a panic and he has yet to give Jongin a reply. 

 

“Whoa, what?” 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

“What did you say?” 

 

Baekhyun goes quiet, “Uhm… I haven’t really <i>said</i> anything yet. I’m pretty much still in shock.” 

 

Saying that he’s in shock is a huge understatement. He’s in such a state of shock that he’s almost eerily calm, save for the pounding in his chest because apparently, by some magical freaking force, a jackhammer has been implanted in his heart and has now gone haywire. 

 

Jongdae doesn’t speak for a while, leaving Baekhyun to listen to his breathing and his contemplative  _ hmm _ ’s, which are the farthest things from what Baekhyun wants to hear. 

 

“Okay, well uh, do you want him there?” Jongdae finally asks. 

 

“I don’t know? Maybe?” 

 

Does he? The simple answer is yes. He’s been fantasizing about meeting Jongin, has this whole silly scenario built up in his head, but he knows above all that his little scenario isn’t going to play out. 

 

“Do you want my opinion?” 

 

Baekhyun sighs, “No, I called to listen to you breathe, which I may as well have done.” 

 

Jongdae continues, ignoring Baekhyun’s sudden snap that Baekhyun will have to apologize for later. “I think it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” 

 

“Right, let me just invite my  _ straight _ online crush to stay with me. Genius plan.” 

 

“Crush aside,” Jongdae sighs, “you two have a good friendship, yes?” 

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Jongdae and his damn good reasoning. 

 

“Yes,” he breathes. 

 

“Okay then. It’d be a waste of a friendship, wouldn’t it? Letting it get ruined because you have feelings for him and all. Besides, having some kind of connection with him is better than having none, right?” 

 

“... I hate you.” 

 

“Glad to be of help! You’re welcome for the amazing advice as usual. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a shit load of paperwork staring me in the face.” 

 

“Wai—” 

 

_ Click _ . The call ends on that note, leaving Baekhyun to stare at his phone with an unanswered message waiting to be opened. He had left Jongin on  _ read _ and almost an hour has passed. Jongin’s probably thinking he did something wrong, and Baekhyun can’t allow that. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _omg seriously? when are yoi coming?_

 

 **baekhyun :** _*you_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun doesn’t realize that a week isn’t enough time to prepare for this until the week is already over with and he’s standing at the bus station with quivering knees and a death grip on Chanyeol’s hand. He ignores Chanyeol’s protests ( _ “Okay, dude, I know you’re nervous and shit, but I do have bones ow,” _ ), bouncing on the balls of his feet and scanning the crowd with squinted eyes. 

 

Jongin isn’t there yet, due to arrive at 3 o’clock, but Baekhyun’s heart is already doing that haywire jackhammer thing and he thinks this time his heart might burst right through his chest. The second thing he thinks about is how ridiculous this all is when he really thinks about it. Ridiculous because he’s putting himself right in the line of fire for heartbreak because  _ yeah, let’s allow the guy I like to stay with us for a week and get to know them better even though I have no chance!!! _ Getting to know Jongin better is  _ so _ what Baekhyun needs right now—it’s not like he’s not at all aware that Jongin might as well be the actual fucking sun or anything. 

 

But, on the other hand, he’s jittery and excited and aware of how lucky he actually is to be able to meet Jongin. Even though he hates to admit it, Jongdae had been right, and Baekhyun thinks he can learn to compartmentalize his feelings, thinks maybe he can separate his romantic feelings and his platonic feelings and manage to survive a whole week of Jongin without letting anything slip. 

 

Once he gets past the initial shock of seeing Jongin in person, it should be a piece of cake. 

 

“Baekhyun, the bones in my hand are all crumbled,” Chanyeol huffs, shaking his arm to try and loosen Baekhyun’s hold. It doesn’t work. 

 

In fact, Baekhyun squeezes tighter, because he suddenly can’t breathe and his legs might just buckle under his sudden dead weight. “Holy fuck,” he breathes. “Chanyeol, what do I do? How do I look? Oh my God.” 

 

Right ahead of him, through the hustle and bustle of people, Baekhyun spots Jongin, backpack slung over one of his shoulders and his eyes wide as he glances around. Baekhyun should be walking forward right about now, but his feet are cemented in their spot, even with Chanyeol tugging at his hand. 

 

“Baek, you can’t just stand here and let him be lost.” 

 

“My legs forgot how to work,” Baekhyun says, more serious than he wants to be. His brain and his legs are definitely not cooperating. “You may have to carry me.”

 

Chanyeol snorts and pushes at Baekhyun’s shoulder, “Don’t be dramatic. Left, right, left, right. Your dream guy is literally, like, thirty steps away and you’re gonna stand here next to me? I’m kinda disappointed.” 

 

Baekhyun detaches his hand from Chanyeol and glares with no real heat. “I’m going, I’m going.” 

 

And so he does. Timidly, of course, like he’s afraid of being seen by Jongin—which is ridiculous because that’s the whole point of Jongin visiting. Baekhyun is more nervous than he expected himself to be, his insides shaking like leaves and his throat tight, and the longer he stares at Jongin and the closer he gets to him, the more overwhelmed he feels. 

 

“Jongin!” Baekhyun forces himself to yell.

 

It’s like slow-motion when Jongin turns upon hearing his name, like those cliche moments in the movies where awkward dork lays their eyes on super hot dream boy and everything and everyone just kinda stops.  _ Be cool, Baekhyun _ . 

 

“Hyung!” Jongin smiles, and Baekhyun takes notice of the slight bounce in his step. He also notices that everything about Jongin is graceful, from the way he walks to the way his arms simply hang at his sides. 

 

Baekhyun glances back at Chanyeol, who’s giving him a thumbs up and mouthing words of encouragement that Baekhyun can’t decipher. All he knows is that he’s just steps away from being within inches of Jongin’s existence, and his stomach is doing flips. Now it’s just a matter of being  _ normal _ and not under some Jongin induced trance. 

 

_ What would normal, not whipped Baekhyun do? _

 

Throwing his arms up, Baekhyun comes to a stop and grins too widely. “Tis’ I in the flesh!” he laughs. 

 

Jongin rolls his eyes and grabs Baekhyun’s wrists, pulling his arms down and laughing shyly. “Don’t be weird in public,” he says. Oh  _ shit _ , Baekhyun is actually going to explode. But he doesn’t want Jongin to remove his hands from around his wrists, finding that he really likes how warm and rough they feel against his own skin. 

 

Baekhyun scoffs, “I’m offended.” 

 

This time, Jongin softly shoves at Baekhyun’s shoulder, and Baekhyun tries not to focus on how it feels like he’s filling up with a thousand butterflies. 

 

“Your face is offensive,” Jongin giggles. Baekhyun suddenly isn’t so sure that he’ll be able to do this because Jongin’s smile kind of makes him feel like floating, and Baekhyun has never been good at being discreet with what he’s feeling.

 

“C’mon brat, let’s go get something to eat and head home to get you settled, hm?” Jongin nods and readjusts his bag on his shoulder. Baekhyun pats Jongin’s shoulder, lets his hand linger on the warm skin for maybe a bit too long, but Jongin doesn’t seem to notice. 

 

“Do you allow late afternoon naps?” Jongin asks with a hint of a laugh, rolling his head on his shoulders. Baekhyun’s been there before; buses aren’t exactly the ideal places for comfort. 

 

“Ah, that’s why you look so hideous.”

 

“ _ Hyung _ ,” Jongin whines. There’s a pout on his lips and it makes him look young and childish like this, and Baekhyun is way far gone. 

 

“I’m kidding. You look great,” he says, and it sounds too sincere, like he’s totally not saying it in a platonic manner. Oops. “You know, as great as one can look for someone who spent three hours on a bus.” 

 

“Gee, thanks,” Jongin frowns. Baekhyun reaches over and pokes at Jongin’s cheek, eyes widening because what is self-control?

 

This is going to be the longest week of Baekhyun’s life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Whoa, so you’re a DJ? That’s so cool!” Jongin and Chanyeol warm up to each other quickly and Baekhyun laughs internally at how easily Chanyeol got sucked up in all things Jongin. It’s comparable to a tornado or something, the way Jongin can sweep people up and get them stuck in his orbit. 

 

“He’s only been trying to make it as a DJ since freshman year of college,” Baekhyun inputs. 

 

Jongin looks impressed, brows lifted and his half-grin spreading into a full smile. Baekhyun’s defenses feel weakened and Jongin hasn’t even been in Bucheon for a full hour. 

 

“Amazing,” he murmurs. 

 

“Yeah, it is,” Chanyeol looks both proud and self-satisfied. “I’m gonna be DJing at a club nearby this coming Thursday. You guys should come.” 

 

Jongin looks at Baekhyun. He has his bottom lip tucked under his teeth—a habit of his that Baekhyun knows is a sign of nervousness. Jongin isn’t a partier, and Baekhyun isn’t going to put him in any situations that would make him feel uncomfortable. 

 

“I’m not much of a club goer, but I wouldn’t mind going for a bit.” Jongin’s look at Baekhyun again, “If Baekhyun hyung wants to go, that is.” 

 

Baekhyun stays quiet but flashes a quick smile while Chanyeol just glances between the two. It’s a gross sight to someone who realizes what those two looks imply.  _ We’d much rather be alone but thanks for the invite _ . 

 

Baekhyun glances at the door, “We might.” He doesn’t have to glance at the door twice for Chanyeol to get the hint. 

 

Chanyeol dips out with a wave, “Don’t become hermits this week.” It’s directed at Baekhyun, a warning of sorts because Chanyeol knows how selfish Baekhyun can be with things he likes. Except, Jongin isn’t a thing. He’s not really a person, either; he’s more like a celestial being.  

 

Baekhyun blushes and shoos Chanyeol away while Jongin is distracted with bidding his own goodbye. 

 

Once Chanyeol is gone, though, a silence settles over them, leaving them to listen to each other breathe. On the outside, Baekhyun is doing good at keeping his cool, but it’s a whole different story on the inside. He hadn’t expected the restlessness he would feel from having the guy he’s possibly falling in love with stand in his living room. It’s just like, Jongin’s there, in the flesh, and he’s beautiful, and Baekhyun can’t touch him. It’s frustrating. 

 

“Hyung? Baekhyun hyung?” Baekhyun blinks; Jongin blinks back. “You’re staring.” 

 

A blush creeps up Baekhyun’s neck, bringing a heat along with it that has his face feeling hot.  “Sorry, I was just admiring,” Baekhyun sighs. Wait, what did he just say? 

 

“Admiring? I didn’t realize there was so much to admire,” Jongin grins playfully. 

 

“Eh, there’s not. I was searching for something to admire, that’s why I was staring for so long,” Baekhyun teases. 

 

Jongin starts pouting, “I’m gonna stop praising you for your piano skills.” 

 

All of Baekhyun’s shame goes out the window as he lifts his hand and wiggles his fingers, “My fingers are skilled for many reasons. You don’t have to praise them for their piano skills only.” Baekhyun wants to ask if Jongin would like him to demonstrate, but he must refrain and stay innocent. As innocent as he can be, that is.

 

“If I found an ex-lover and asked them, would their answer match yours?” Jongin teases back. Baekhyun smirks. 

 

“It better. I don’t half-ass anything.” 

 

He catches the way Jongin grows shy as he turns his head away before his blush can be seen. Baekhyun reminds himself not to make anything of it; innuendos and inappropriate jokes make almost anyone blush. 

 

What he doesn’t catch is the mumbled, “So I’ve imagined,” Jongin says to himself. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh, nothing,” Jongin shakes his head a little too eagerly. “Where should I put my stuff? I don’t want to, like, clutter your living room with my junk.” 

 

_ My junk, _ Baekhyun’s brain plays on loop helpfully. Now is really not the time. Now is the time for figuring out where the heck Jongin is going to put his stuff—hell, where Jongin is going to put  _ himself _ because Baekhyun really did not think this through. 

 

“Uh,” Baekhyun giggles, glancing around and cursing himself for not choosing a bigger apartment when he had the chance. He could’ve had one with three bedrooms, but he chose one big enough just for himself as a way to keep himself reminded that he was on his own and that Kyungsoo wouldn’t be making a return in the foreseeable future. Stupid first love aftermath and all that. 

 

“Why do I have a feeling you’re about to say something I don’t want to hear…”

 

“Well, because I am. You see, I didn’t exactly think about where I would put you so—so um, you might have to share a bed with me.” Baekhyun tries his hardest to act like he’s not too fond of the idea, like sharing his bed with Jongin doesn’t stir up some terribly warm feelings inside him, but he’s failing. 

 

“I can sleep on the cou—”

 

“The couch barely fits two people as it is, and you told me you have a bad back. You’re not sleeping on the couch.”

 

Jongin grumbles in defeat, “Fine. What size is your bed?” 

 

“... Twin.” 

 

“ _ Hyung! _ ” 

 

“It won’t be that bad! I’m a great cuddler,” Baekhyun tries to reason. 

 

Jongin looks unimpressed until he starts smiling, almost in disbelief but he doesn’t seem too perturbed by the whole thing.

 

“I guess it won’t be too awful.” 

 

 

 

They don’t do much for the rest of the day. Despite Baekhyun being filled to the brim with energy, Jongin is much like a sloth, easily worn out from his bus ride and just wanting some down time. So, they order takeout and change into their sweats and play Overwatch. It’s a typical guy night, just dudes being dudes, no homo just bromo—minus the beer because Baekhyun is a lightweight and the last thing he needs is to make a drunken confession. 

 

When the symphony of buttons being harshly pressed ends, signaling the end of a three-hour game session, both Jongin and Baekhyun lean back and sink into the couch with a sigh. Gaming is not kind to the posture and Baekhyun is certainly feeling the effects. Meanwhile, Jongin decides to stretch out, legs and arms extending in opposite directions, and Baekhyun can’t stop his eyes from drifting over. Not only does Jongin look like he’s mid-orgasm during the stretch, with his eyes closed and his mouth all parted almost obscenely (as if Baekhyun needed more visuals), but Baekhyun realizes just how  _ long _ he is. 

 

“You’re so long,” he blurts out, sounding almost dreamy. 

 

Jongin’s eyes snap open just as mortification begins to set in, leaving Baekhyun to stutter over sounds that definitely cannot be considered words. 

 

“Don’t take that out of context,” Baekhyun suppresses the urge to hide his face, tries to keep his front intact in hopes that it’ll somehow make the situation less awkward. He’s expecting Jongin to go up in flames, honestly. One time during a Skype call, Baekhyun had pointed out Jongin’s giant cheek dimple and Jongin had gotten so flustered he kept his hands over his cheeks for the remainder of the call. 

 

This may cause an actual explosion. 

 

“Nice to know you think so highly of me,” Jongin’s smirking coyly, and Baekhyun can only blink in response. “I can’t say I think the same of you, though.” 

 

Baekhyun reaches over and shoves at Jongin’s shoulder, “Yeah? Want me to prove you wrong?” 

 

Jongin visibly flushes at this, shaking his head and weakly shoving at Baekhyun’s knee. “No, I wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself,” he doesn’t sound as confident as he did before, words a bit mumbled and quiet, but he gets the point across. 

 

“Suit yourself. You’re missing out on quite the sight.” 

 

“Oh,” Jongin yawns mid-sentence, “I’m sure.” 

 

“Tired?” He clearly is. It’s cute, Baekhyun thinks; the way Jongin rubs at his eyes and lazily brushes his fingers through his hair. Baekhyun can’t decide if he wants to tuck Jongin in or crawl into his lap and sleep on top of him. 

 

Getting to his feet, Baekhyun extends his hand out for Jongin to take, “Come, I shall bed you.” 

 

Jongin grins and pushes himself up, “I hope that historical slang for let’s sleep.” 

 

“Sure, if you wanna be boring about it.”  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hyung, hyung ow—ow, hey! Your knees are digging into my back!” 

 

“There, problem solved!” 

 

“Don’t put your legs o—oh my god, why.” 

 

“Because you were whining about my knees being in your back and now they won’t be.”

 

“You have your leg  _ on _ me; I can’t move like this.”

 

“Do you always whine this much when people cuddle you?”

 

“This isn’t cuddling, this is like a death trap. Maybe if I—there, that’s a little better.” 

 

“Let’s hope I don’t accidentally knee you where the sun doesn’t shine.”

 

“ _ Hyung _ .”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boners are the ninth wonder of the world. You never quite know if they’re there for a reason. Are you actually aroused or did your pants just brush against the little guy and give him a  _ stiffening _ scare? There’s nothing worse than the unwanted boners, though. Popping up—quite literally—at the most inconvenient times, creating awkward situations and a handful of misunderstandings. So you can imagine Baekhyun’s panic the next morning.

 

The morning is almost perfect; soft sunlight filtering through his curtains that cast a pale golden light over everything including Jongin, and it’s beautiful. Jongin is beautiful, with his hair splayed over his pillow and his mouth parted just barely. His sun-kissed skin looks smooth to the touch, taunting and warmly inviting, hard to resist.  

 

Yes, the morning is almost perfect.  _ Almost _ . Because when Baekhyun shifts and feels the familiar tight pull over his crotch—the telltale sign of morning wood—his eyes snap open in alarm, nearly bulging out of his head. Cue the panic.   _ Oh shit, this is not happening _ . 

 

Except, it definitely is and Baekhyun is definitely too squished against the wall for an easy getaway.  _ Just as long as Jongin doesn’t move _ , he thinks, trying to fill his mind with images of off-putting things like; sports, a yapping dog, Jongdae in the morning, Chanyeol when he’s drunk, Chanyeol in an apron and nothing else, etc. 

 

Jongin would probably look great in an apron and nothing else underneath. Baekhyun doesn’t even care if his cooking is shit because he could find plenty of things and places to put his mouth on. Maybe Jongin would be into getting fu—

 

“Shut the fuck up, Baekhyun,” Baekhyun murmurs to himself. He glances down to see that he’s definitely not helping himself out any. “Down boy, you’re going to make things real awkward if Jongin wakes up— _ oh god he’s stirring _ ,” Baekhyun stills, staring with wide eyes as Jongin begins shifting in his sleep, turning away from Baekhyun and now things are really awful because, not only has Jongin’s shirt ridden halfway up his body in the process of him flopping around, but his ass is now pressing a bit too closely to Baekhyun’s problem area. 

 

“When did my life turn into a joke?” He flings an arm over his eyes and groans. 

 

A small sound emits from Jongin. He stirs again, this time bringing a hand up to scratch behind his ear. It takes everything Baekhyun has not to coo at him, but that urge is short-lived because then Jongin  _ presses back _ , which results in Baekhyun accidentally groaning out loud because  _ fuck _ . 

 

“Hyung?” Jongin slurs, voice thick and gravelly. 

 

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh shit, of all things that could possibly go wrong are going wrong. He’s quick to clamp one of his hands over his mouth as he goes almost deadly still, trying to become one with the wall for the sake of his dignity. Maybe if he prays really hard he’ll magically just melt into his wall and end up outside where he can get some damn breathing room. 

 

“Hyung, are you awake?” 

 

_ In more ways than one _ . “Uh, yeah. Morning,” Baekhyun murmurs, trying to figure out a way to wiggle his way free without anything brushing against his crotch. Baekhyun’s always been a bit sensitive, especially in the mornings, so any kind of touch is a bit too much for him right now. 

 

“Morning,” Jongin stretches and turns over onto his back, arching as a string of arousing noises escapes his mouth. Baekhyun is so beyond fucked right now. But this is good because now Baekhyun has a better chance of getting free just as long as Jongin’s eyes stay shut but he stays aware and doesn’t end up unconsciously scooting or pressing any closer to Baekhyun. 

 

“Gonna take a shower,” Baekhyun says quickly, pushing himself up as fast as he can. He keeps his eyes on Jongin to make sure his eyes stay closed, and he can practically taste the victory. 

 

You know, until Jongin raises up unexpectedly and comes face to face with the source of Baekhyun’s problems. Yep, Jongin raises up just in the same moment that Baekhyun is on his knees and in position to crawl over Jongin, which results in Jongin being in the perfect position to get a real eyeful. 

 

“Fuck.” 

 

Jongin starts turning every shade of red right before Baekhyun’s eyes while Baekhyun stays frozen, still hard and still mortified. Absolutely nothing could make this situation worse. 

 

“I swear I didn’t get this because of you.” 

 

Baekhyun stands corrected. Jongin flushes a deeper shade of red and then, as if something clicks and shifts him into gear, scrambles away, nearly toppling over onto the floor. 

 

“Should I, uh, leave the room so you can… you know—”

 

“So I can wh—oh…  _ oh _ , oh my god no,” Baekhyun says frantically, nervously laughing as he shamefully makes his way to the door with a hand hovering over his crotch. “I’m gonna just…” he gestures down the hall, “shower. Help yourself to the kitchen if you’re hungry.” 

 

Jongin nods and stays quiet. He avoids eye contact, cheeks still flushed, “Good idea. I’ll make some steamed rice for us.” It’s obvious that he’s is trying to dismiss the awkward atmosphere.

 

Baekhyun presses his lips together and smiles before swiftly turning on his heel and rushing to the bathroom. Maybe if he scrubs hard enough, he can wash off all the shame and embarrassment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **baekhyun :** _so jongin got a face full of dick this morning_

 

 **jongae:** _dude_

 

 **pcyuck:** _so he’s not so straight then_

 

 **baekhyun :** _it wasn’t the good kind of face full of dick_

 

 **baekhyun :** _morning wood, jongin pressing against me in his sleep, awful timing_

 

 **jongae:** _LMAO_

 

 **pcyuck:** _the situations you get yourself in amaze me_

 

Baekhyun has to agree with Chanyeol on that one. It amazes him how he got himself in such a situation, too. This whole situation in general. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evening finds Jongin and Baekhyun at the Korea Manhwa museum. It had been an impulsive decision, something that Baekhyun had suggested with a mouthful of rice because the after effects of their oh so eventful morning had been nearly suffocating. And Baekhyun clearly recalls Jongin mentioning that he visited the museum once when he was a kid and had been wanting to go back if he ever got the time. 

 

So, Baekhyun watches Jongin’s inner child come alive once he’s around the creative workshops, and he drags Baekhyun over to one of the creative stations to quickly draw up a manhwa character of his own. He glances up at Baekhyun as he draws, eyes squinted in concentration and his brows furrowed. Baekhyun tries to steal glances at what he’s drawing, only to be nagged at by a whining Jongin because, “ _ Patience, I’ll let you see when I’m done _ .” 

 

Baekhyun scoffs nonchalantly. Jongin pokes the tip of the pencil he’s using into Baekhyun’s side, “Don’t get pouty, you big baby.” And Baekhyun laughs, half because Jongin’s pouting as he speaks and half because of how childish the 21-year-old looks in this setting. 

 

Baekhyun really just wants to reach out and run his fingers through Jongin’s hair, maybe lean down and place a kiss on the top of his head, and if life always worked out how he wanted it to, then that’s surely what he’d be doing right about now. But life doesn’t work out how anyone wants it to, and Baekhyun thinks that the little things such as wanting to hold hands or be able to ruffle the hair of the person you like hits as hard as anything else. That’s when you know there’s really  _ something _ there; when the small things make you feel that longing feeling in your chest. 

 

“Here, ass,” Jongin hands the piece of paper to Baekhyun. 

 

“Is the artist finally done?” 

 

“I wouldn’t call it  _ art _ . It’s just a quick doodle,” Jongin shrugs. 

 

It’s a chibi style drawing that resembles Baekhyun. It has puppy ears and big, puppy-like eyes and a boxy smile. Baekhyun fails at fighting off the wide grin that spreads across his face, “Are you calling me a dog?” 

 

Jongin scrunches his face, “Vaguely. Now come on, they have a library full of comics.” 

 

He grabs Baekhyun’s hand to pull him along and it’s almost scary how easily their fingers interlock, and Baekhyun really like the rush of warmth that spreads through him. Jongin’s hands are manly, a bit calloused and a lot veiny, fingers long and a bit thicker than Baekhyun’s pretty, slim ones. 

 

“Nerd,” Baekhyun mutters, hoping the fondness is mistaken for sarcasm. 

 

 

 

Jongin spends a good two hours in the comic library, rambling on and on about the plot twists of his favorite manhwa’s and Baekhyun really has no clue what the heck he’s talking about, but he listens and nods along when it feels fitting to do so. Jongin might as well be speaking gibberish. Baekhyun doesn’t mind, though, because listening to Jongin speak is nice. 

 

They end up getting ice cream and wandering into a local park after they leave the museum, where Jongin gets all philosophical about life and Baekhyun finds himself pulled in. He’s like a sponge soaking up Jongin’s words. 

 

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance. I had no idea what that quote meant when I first heard it, but I think I’m starting to understand it now.” 

 

“Mind explaining it to me?” Baekhyun knows Jongin would’ve anyway, but encouragement is nice, especially for introverts like Jongin. 

 

“Well, if you’re the dancer then that implies that you have control over everything that goes on in your life. That’s not the case. Life is the performer and you have to admire what it brings with it, good or bad.” 

 

“I don’t have to admire you just because my life got you swept up in its dance,” Baekhyun hums, bumping his shoulder into Jongin’s. It might’ve been a slip of the tongue, and Baekhyun’s limbs may suddenly feel like jelly, but Jongin lets out a giggle and Baekhyun thinks this is one time where he doesn’t regret speaking. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Can we get in trouble for this?” Jongin whispers. 

 

They’re at the theater, tiptoeing through the building as quiet as they can. The theater after hours is pretty dead, but Jongin is paranoid anyway, staying close behind Baekhyun with his fingers loosely gripping onto the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt as Baekhyun leads him to the auditorium. 

 

“You’re a goody two shoes, aren’t you?” Baekhyun asks over his shoulder. 

 

“Hey, I’ve done plenty of bad stuff…” Jongin’s pout can practically be heard. 

 

“Such as?” 

 

“Uh, does ditching class count? I wasn’t sick or anything either. Pretty badass, if you ask me.” Jongin sounds like he’s trying to convince himself he’s a badass more than he’s trying to convince Baekhyun. 

 

Baekhyun’s abrupt laugh echoes throughout the building. Jongin smacks at Baekhyun’s back, “You’re gonna get us caught! Oh God, I’m going to leave Bucheon with a criminal record.” 

 

The distressed tone Jongin uses is hilarious, Baekhyun thinks. Jongin is genuinely concerned, but he’s using humor to lighten his worries, and Baekhyun feels connected to him in that moment because Baekhyun handles certain situations the same way. Like the whole Jongin situation, for example. 

 

Baekhyun can make all the jokes he wants about it, can say that his life somehow turned into a bad rom-com with the sprinkle of angst that people crave, but deep down he knows that all the jokes in the world won’t really help anything. He’s going to have to start moving on from Jongin once their week together is over, but he thinks he should let himself enjoy what he can of it. “It” being the moments where he can physically touch Jongin; the playful pushes and tugs and accidental brushing of their hands when they’re playing video games until 1 A.M. 

 

“We’ve arrived without being busted. Amazing,” Baekhyun grins sarcastically as he flicks the lights on. The stage lights up and so does Jongin. “How long has it been since you were last on a stage like this?” 

 

Glancing around, Jongin begins smiling. “Not since sometime in high school,” he says. 

 

Baekhyun takes his seat on the piano bench. He slides his hand across the keys and plays a few random notes to warm up. Jongin strides over and props his elbows up on the surface of the piano, watching Baekhyun’s fingers glide over the keys. 

 

“What’d you bring me here for?” 

 

“Because I wanted to see you dance on a stage as Jongin and not Kai.” 

 

There’s a dusty pink hue to Jongin’s cheeks as he presses his lips together. 

 

“What’s your favorite piece?”

 

“Do you know Oceans by Rob Costlow?” 

 

Baekhyun nods and splays his fingers out on the proper keys while Jongin takes his position at the center of the stage. Jongin looks like he belongs there under the spotlight, and he looks like he feels at home if his smile is anything to go by. 

 

The first notes of the song echo through the auditorium. Jongin stays still for the first 10 seconds of the song, and then it’s like he slips into a different person with just the swipe of his arm above his head. The longer Baekhyun watches, completely entranced by Jongin’s movements, he decides that Jongin isn’t a different version of himself, but a stronger version. 

 

His movements are gentle, languid. It’s like watching water take on a human form, soft when it’s calm but powerful when the flow is strong enough. Jongin really knows when to exert his strength and when to slow it down, and everything about it just draws Baekhyun in because he’s never seen something so beautiful. He watches in amazement, subconsciously smiling as he reminds himself to play the right keys because this is a moment that he would hate to ruin. 

 

People say that you see a person’s true colors when they’re doing something they’re passionate about, and right now Baekhyun sees vibrant golden hues and imaginary flecks of indigo as Jongin leaps across the stage. It’s as if Baekhyun isn’t even there; like he’s just the music that Jongin is partly lost in, and that doesn’t sound like such an awful thing to be. The music and the dancer—it has a nice ring to it.

 

Baekhyun is the music and Jongin’s just dancing around him.

 

Fingers slip from black and white keys as the song ends and the auditorium fills with silence mixed with Jongin’s heavy breathing. Sweat is forming at his brows and his chest is heaving, lips parted as he pushes his fingers through his hair. “I haven’t danced that routine in a while,” he breathes. “I’m a bit rusty with it.”

 

Baekhyun deadpans, “ _ That _ was rusty? I’d hate to see you at your best with that routine, then.” 

 

“Shut up, hyung.” 

 

“So that’s what I get for praising you, huh?” 

 

Jongin averts his gaze to the ground, scuffing his feet shyly and using his index finger to push his bottom lip between his teeth. Baekhyun basks in the fact that he’s the cause of Jongin’s sudden shyness. 

 

“What would you say if I praised your finger skills?” 

 

Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest and smirks, “I’d say that you haven’t even seen the best of them.”

 

Jongin hangs his head, “You’re ridiculous, you know?” 

 

“Hmm, so I’ve been told.”

 

They share a laugh, two smiles covering up shared feelings and two hearts swelling up just that bit more, and both men completely unaware of the behind the scenes chaos. 

 

“It’s late. Let’s go home?” 

 

“Yeah, before you get me arrested for breaking and entering.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Really though, hyung, you play the piano beautifully.” 

 

“I guess I was just inspired this time. I play best when I have pretty things to look at.” 

 

“You’re gross.” 

 

“Stop giving me reasons to be gross.”

 

“I’m not! You’re taking everything I say and making it into something cheesy.” 

 

“It’s a gift.” 

 

“It’s three in the morning, why are you still babbling?” 

 

“Why are  _ you _ still listening to my babbling?” 

 

“Because you’re loud.” 

 

“There’s plenty of ways you could shut me up.” 

 

“By shoving a pair of socks in your mouth.” 

 

“Mean.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The week is nearly over before Baekhyun knows it. Four days have passed by in a flash and over the course of those four days, Baekhyun has done an awful job at being discreet with his feelings. Jongin is oblivious, though. He takes anything Baekhyun says in a sarcastic way and they both end up laughing it off, and Baekhyun has to remember not to get his hopes up when a blush blooms on Jongin’s cheeks. Those things go unmentioned, Baekhyun notices, but he understands that Jongin is an introvert and the blushing is probably because of the ridiculous things that Baekhyun comes up with. 

 

It’s hard to keep his head in the right place. It’s hard to have to force himself to face the reality of the situation, to keep himself reminded that this week was strictly platonic and that he technically has one day with Jongin left. He’s leaving Saturday afternoon and Baekhyun has a feeling he won’t be seeing him for a while. 

 

He’d never been a victim of unrequited love before. He’d had some unrequited crushes, but those were short-lived and insignificant whereas this is a different situation. Baekhyun doesn’t just want to get in Jongin’s pants and stay for a week and then up and leave. Baekhyun wants, not only to have the privilege of getting in Jongin’s pants, but he wants to have the privilege of holding Jongin’s hands and kissing him whenever he wants. He wants the privilege of having access to Jongin’s heart. But he’s sure Jongin has someone waiting for him back at home, and so he’s left to figure out a way to get over any romantic feelings he has towards the college student. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _this fucking sucks_

 

 **jongae:** _we know it does, baek_

 

 **pcyuck:** _jongdae’s right, and it’ll get easier baek_

 

 **baekhyun :** _it’lk be a while before i believe that_

 

 **baekhyun :** _*it’ll_

 

 **jongae:** _on the bright side, people grow from their experiences, especially their first unrequited love, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing. you just gotta try to look at it differently_

 

Jongdae’s always the voice of reason, always finds the good in every situation, and Baekhyun knows that he’s right. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _yeah yeah, I know_

 

 **baekhyun :** _thanks guys_

 

 **pcyuck:** _you should come out for a few drinks tonight and try to get your mind off of it_

 

It’s not an awful idea—Baekhyun just has to remember not to overdo it. 

 

**baekhyun :** _ i’ll see if jongin’s up to it once he gets out of the shower _

 

 **jongae:** _you could ask him while he’s in the shower_

 

Apart from being the voice of reason, Jongdae is also an asshole. Baekhyun has established this many times. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _i swear to god jongdae_

 

 **jongae:** _“god jongdae” i agree_

 

Baekhyun shakes his head as he laughs quietly to himself, pocketing his phone before he sprawls out across the length of his couch and stretches out. He hears the shower shut off down the hall and finds himself praying that Jongin isn’t one of those towel around the waist water dripping down chest kind of guys. He brain supplies him with enough filthy things—he doesn’t need help. 

 

Luckily, Jongin emerges fully dressed save for the fact that his sweats hang dangerously low on his hips and his tank is so thin and loose fitting that he might as well be naked. And his hair is damp, which is enough to have Baekhyun fighting off a whimper.

 

“Question.” 

 

“Shoot.” 

 

Baekhyun lifts his head, “Chanyeol wants us to come out for a few drinks. Up for it?” 

 

Jongin swats at Baekhyun’s legs until he lifts them and allows Jongin to sit, only to be trapped by said legs when he’s settled. The position is comfortable and Baekhyun takes full advantage, sighing contentedly as he tucks his hands behind his head. Jongin smacks at him and laughs. 

 

“Yeah, it could be fun. Are you an annoying drunk?” 

 

“You know, you offend me on a daily basis,” Baekhyun frowns. “But no, I won’t be annoying because I don’t plan to get drunk.” 

 

“Then count me in.”

 

“I feel like I should be offended again.” 

 

“Maybe a little.” 

 

Baekhyun kicks at Jongin, “Brat. C’mon, let’s get ready. Jongdae will nag our ears off we’re late.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The club is packed when they arrive. Jongin keeps a tight hold on Baekhyun’s sleeve, staying close as Baekhyun guides him through a sea of writhing, sweaty bodies. There’s laughter all around, muted under the heavy repetitive bass line of the club music. There are neon colors flashing in purples and blues and yellows, and it’s easy to get lost in for people like Jongin who don’t frequent clubs a lot and are easily swept up in the riptide of it all. 

 

Baekhyun reaches back and blindly grabs for Jongin’s hand to keep him close. “Don’t wanna lose you in this mess,” he smiles over his shoulder. 

 

Jongin smiles thankfully, shifting his eyes around. Baekhyun can’t tell if he’s scared or just taking in his surroundings. He gives his hand a comforting squeeze anyway. 

 

Jongdae already has a booth near the back of the club occupied, and he stands up to wave Jongin and Baekhyun over when he spots them. The shirt he’s wearing makes him look like one of those spindly air dancers. 

 

“What in the fuck are you wearing?” Baekhyun asks as he eyes Jongdae up and down. 

 

“I’m testing a theory,” Jongdae states. 

 

“What? That if you wear awful clothing you’ll repel all the women in the club?” 

 

“Close, but no. I’m testing my wooing skills.” 

 

Baekhyun and Jongin share questioning glances. 

 

“You see, Chanyeol challenged me. So now I’m just trying to prove to him that I can woo the ladies with my incredible personality and flawless seduction skills,” his grin is kittenish. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see a leggy brunette across the room and she’s beckoning to me.” 

 

“So that was Jongdae…” Baekhyun trails off once Jongdae is out of earshot. He gestures for Jongin to sit and slides a beer over to him. “Beer’s okay, right?” 

 

Jongin nods, twisting the cap off with no hesitation, “Yeah. Why? Do I look like I’m a fruity drink kind of guy?” 

 

“What would you do to prove me wrong?” Baekhyun challenges. Baekhyun could think of a  _ few _ things.

 

Jongin continues to sip idly as he thinks. “Good question. I’m completely blank,” he snorts.

 

“Does that mean you admit defeat?”

 

“Until further notice.”

 

“Wow, you didn’t even put up a fight. I’m disappointed,” Baekhyun shakes his head, feigning disappointment and earning himself a weak kick to the shin. “That’s it, I’m going to report you for assault.” 

 

“What a weak threat, hyung. With a friend like Sehun, I’ve heard worse.”

 

“Would you prefer other forms of punishment?” Baekhyun quirks his brow, leaning forward and propping his chin in his palm. Jongin flushes profusely at the indications behind the question and quickly brings his beer up to his lips, which results in the bobbing of his Adam’s apple and the start of Baekhyun’s inappropriate thoughts. Jongin’s throat is nice, and it would probably look nice with a few bites here and there. 

 

“Oh, Chanyeol hyung’s setting up,” Jongin says pointedly. He’s still flustered, cheeks still pink and his fingers wrapped tight around the beer bottle. 

 

Baekhyun can only smile to himself, happy to be the other cause of Jongin’s pink-cheeked state. The alcohol is making it a bit harder to remember that the blushing means nothing, though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol is halfway through his set when a girl comes over to their table. Jongdae is nowhere to be seen—he’s probably off in the back of his car with his leggy brunette—so it’s just Jongin and Baekhyun. They’re mid conversation about dumb shit they’d done during their high school years when she struts over, full of confidence as she leans over their table and flashes them both a smile. She’s pretty, Baekhyun has to admit, with loosely curled hair and soft pink lips. Her eyes are on Jongin, though, Baekhyun realizes. 

 

“I’ve been trying to get the guts to ask you to dance for a while,” she says, somehow confident but shy at the same time. Baekhyun's grip on his beer tightens. 

 

“Uh, I—I don’t,” Jongin’s blabbering and blinking. He looks like a deer scared shitless; eyes wide and his shoulders stiff. His innocence practically seeps through his pores. 

 

“Awe, don’t be shy!” She giggles and holds her hand out. 

 

Jongin looks at Baekhyun, looks as if he’s seeking approval, and Baekhyun is tempted to make up an excuse and drag Jongin away but  _ Jongin isn’t his to be selfish with _ . Baekhyun has no rights to Jongin and he can’t stop him from doing anything that he wants to do. 

 

“You should go,” Baekhyun fakely encourages. 

 

“But—” 

 

“You should listen to your hyung,” the girl tugs Jongin up. He glances back at Baekhyun and Baekhyun waves as he disappears into the crowd. 

 

There’s a little green monster sitting on Baekhyun’s shoulder that makes him huff like an angry toddler and the alcohol doesn’t exactly soothe his anger. He’s not angry because Jongin’s dancing with some girl; he’s angry because he has feelings for Jongin and he’s sitting on the sidelines because life is just extremely unfair sometimes. He downs the rest of his beer and then pushes the empty bottle to the center of the table. 

 

“Shots, I need shots. Just one won’t hurt.” he murmurs to himself.  

 

He keeps telling himself that one more won’t hurt even after the third, fourth, fifth and sixth shot. 

 

It hadn’t been his intention to get completely drunk. He’d planned to be buzzed just enough that the world had a soft haze to it; just drunk enough to take the edge off. He hadn’t planned to be giggling all by himself with watery eyes as he pushes and stumbles his way toward the exit. It’s so stuffy and loud in the club what with the music and all the people. Baekhyun needs air. 

 

Chanyeol had ventured into the crowd to mingle after his set ended but Baekhyun isn’t sure where Jongdae or Jongin is. He assumes they’re still with the girls they’d ran off with and he doesn’t want to go on a hunt for them in his current state. He needs to sober up and clear his head a little because, shockingly enough, alcohol doesn’t help him in forgetting about anything he feels for Jongin and if he were to see Jongin face to face with his filter off it would be a disaster. 

 

Drunk Baekhyun is more talkative than sober Baekhyun—meaning, drunk Baekhyun babbles and spills things he shouldn’t be spilling. Drunk Baekhyun is an open book, and that’s not what sober Baekhyun needs whilst harboring feelings for Jongin. Despite some part of his brain being aware of this, the hazy part decides that he needs to message Jongdae and Chanyeol. He just needs to get some things off his chest and then he’ll be fine enough to go gather everyone up so they can head home. 

 

 **baekhyun :** _guys i’m sad_

 

 **baekhyun :** _thre was thjs girl snd she asked jongin to dance and i’m just_

 

 **baekhyun :** _really upiset anddrunk_

 

**baekhyun :** t _ his fuckign sucks life is so unfair _

 

**baekhyun :** _ i liek him so much i wish i didn’t _

 

 **baekhyun :** _hes just rlly beautifil and good you know_

 

 **baekhyun :** _he remindsm e of mothre nature or something bcuz he’s all the good and beautiful thinfs in the world_

 

 **baekhyun :** _i don’t feel so good lets go home_

 

He doesn’t realize that his eyes are rimmed with tears until he blinks and a tear lands on his phone screen, right in the same moment that his phone begins ringing. He stares down at the ringing device before it clicks in his mind that he should probably answer it. 

 

“Hello?” The world is spinning a little bit now. 

 

“Hyung, where are you?” It’s Jongin. 

 

“Jonginnie? Did I give you my number?” 

 

“Jongdae hyung gave it to me. Where are you?” He asks again, and even in his drunk state Baekhyun can detect the lilt of concern. 

 

“Getting some air. Too many shots.”

 

“Stay there. Everyone’s ready to go home now.” 

 

“Yeah, my bed misses me, you know?” 

 

Jongin laughs, “Just don’t move, okay?” 

 

Baekhyun hums in response and the line goes dead. Now that he thinks about it, he misses his bed, too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun’s tongue feels very gross and fuzzy when he wakes up. It doesn’t even feel like he has a tongue, it feels more like… a fuzzy sock has taken the place of his tongue. And then there’s the horrible, bitter taste of last night’s shit storm of whatever he had decided to toss back. 

 

The second thing that registers in his brain is that his nose is brushing against something soft and there’s a pleasant weight around the middle of his waist and a not so pleasant throb at the base of his skull. He groans, blinking his eyes open to be met with a blurred sea of gray. The sunlight pours into the room and makes Baekhyun want to burrow deep under the covers and hide from the world. He blinks again, pulling his head back to finally take a glance around. He discovers that the weight around his waist is an arm and the gray blur he’d had his nose buried in is a t-shirt, and naturally, his eyes trail up. 

 

He already has a pretty good idea of who it is but he has to be sure. 

 

“Jongin?” He mumbles, slow and hoarse. 

 

The sleeping boy next to him doesn’t budge not even when Baekhyun gently nudges him; he just wraps his arm tighter around Baekhyun’s middle, and it makes Baekhyun’s heart jump. He’s way too hungover to be dealing with  _ feelings _ . 

 

“Jongin, wake up. You’ve got me locked in a death grip,” Baekhyun laughs quietly, relieved that he’s able to keep the tremble out of his voice. He’s starting to feel like jelly—everything is starting to shake. 

 

“Hmm?” Jongin stirs. “Oh, you’re awake.” He glances down and when he realizes his arm is around Baekhyun’s waist, his eyes widen and he quickly moves his arm away as if he’d been burnt. A blush blooms on his cheeks and his eyes are everywhere but on Baekhyun. 

 

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks. 

 

Jongin laughs a laugh that sounds forced and continues to avoid looking at Baekhyun. “Yeah, uh you kinda… made me cuddle you last night.” Jongin’s nervous; he’s doing that thing where he pushes his bottom lip into his mouth. “You’re a pretty clingy drunk.”

 

Embarrassment floods in, leaving Baekhyun to laugh nervously as he pushes himself up into a sitting position and carefully stands. The room spins a few times and so does Baekhyun’s stomach.  

 

“Sorry, my respect for personal space kinda goes out the window when I’m drunk,” he stays quiet and smiles sheepishly. Jongin doesn’t look at him still, and something feels off. What exactly had Baekhyun done last night? Everything after that girl asking Jongin to dance is pretty much a blur, kind of like his brain is pure water and last night’s memories are way down under. 

 

“It’s fine,” Jongin says dismissively. “Coffee?” 

 

Coffee. Baekhyun’s throat could really use some coffee. 

 

“With a side of Advil,” Baekhyun tries to joke, but it falls flat as Jongin pushes past him to make his way into the kitchen. It’s no secret that Jongin isn’t a morning person, but seeing him go out of his way to have as little interactions as possible with Baekhyun stirs up a deep-rooted worry inside of Baekhyun’s chest. He’d done something and he really isn’t sure that he wants to know what exactly. 

 

Still, he needs to know so he can try to make it right. His only option is to ask. 

 

Slowly, he tiptoes out of his room and into the kitchen where Jongin is putting the coffee on. Baekhyun spots two capsules on the counter next to a glass of water, and he feels his insides nearly melt at the small act. 

 

“For your head,” Jongin says without turning away from the coffee pot. 

 

“Thank you,” he says, tossing the capsules back and washing them down with a gulp of water. 

 

A silence settles. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know where to start. He leans against the counter and watches Jongin pace around, pushing and tugging at his bottom lip once more. 

 

“Oral fixation?” It’s probably not the right question to blurt out, but it seems to be the only thing Baekhyun’s brain can focus on at the moment. 

 

“What? Oh…”

 

“It’s cute. I have a habit of—”

 

“Shoving your fingers into your mouth,” Jongin finishes.

 

“So you noticed,” Baekhyun says awkwardly, taken aback by Jongin’s tone. Of course Jongin noticed; observing people is his specialty. 

 

“Once or twice,” Jongin breathes, then he leans against the edge of the counter and finally looks at Baekhyun. “Hyung, do you remember anything from last night?” 

 

“Bits and pieces. The bits and pieces after the shots are a bit… jumbled. Why?” Baekhyun feels like he’ll regret asking why, because the mood shifts and he suddenly feels anxious. 

 

Jongin clears his throat, “What’s the last thing you remember?” 

 

Baekhyun squints his eyes as if squinting will help him remember quicker but he just draws blanks. He remembers everything before the shots, the talking and laughing with Jongin and the girl, but everything after that kinda swirls together. He vaguely remembers how dizzy he felt before deciding to go outside. 

 

“I remember when you called me,” Baekhyun mumbles. “I think I might’ve drunk texted Jongdae and Chanyeol.” 

 

Jongin stops playing with his lips abruptly. He looks at Baekhyun with an indecipherable look in his eyes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “I have something to show you.” 

 

He reaches into the pocket of his baggy sweatpants and fishes his phone out, thumb moving over the screen as he walks slowly over to the counter. Oh God, Baekhyun hadn’t sent drunk nudes, did he? It wouldn’t be the first time, but it would certainly be the most embarrassing time. Still, the mood and Jongin’s sudden stunned attitude tells Baekhyun that whatever he’d done wasn’t something they would look back on and laugh about. 

 

“What did I—” 

 

Jongin sets his phone down in front of Baekhyun wordlessly and then goes back to tugging on his lips and pacing. Baekhyun glances down, reads the first message, and he stops himself there because he doesn’t need to continue reading to put the pieces together. 

 

“Oh my god,” he breathes. “Oh my god. I—I didn’t.” 

 

“I don’t think you sent the messages to the right person…” 

 

Baekhyun thinks he’s going to be sick. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” is all he can say. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

 

He was doing so well at hiding his feelings—the best he could, anyway—and now all of his efforts are blown to hell. He wants to fall into a black abyss and disappear. Kinda wants to go up in flames and just go  _ proof _ before Jongin’s eyes. He definitely is in no condition to deal with his drunken fuck ups right now. 

 

“Hyung,” Jongin sounds a little desperate. 

 

“It’s fine, Jongin. We can just forget about it, yeah?” Avoid the topic as always. 

 

Except, this seems to floor Jongin. “Forget about it? How am I supposed to—to forget about it? And why didn’t you ever say anything before?” No, not floored. Jongin is angry. 

 

Baekhyun feels like shrinking. God, he fucked up so bad. Had he said something and just been honest when his feelings for Jongin first started to develop then neither of them would be in this mess. Jongin wouldn’t be stuck in such an awkward position and Baekhyun wouldn’t be wishing for a hole to open up under his feet and swallow him up. 

 

“I didn’t want you to think that I would be hitting on you while you visited or something. I didn’t want you to know I had feelings for you at all, honestly.” Standing up, Baekhyun drags himself over to the couch to put some distance between him and Jongin. Jongin continues pacing around. 

 

“I didn’t want to have feelings for you,” Baekhyun admits. “Having a crush on a straight guy isn’t exactly a good time,” he tries to laugh. 

 

Jongin stops pacing. He exhales deeply and something like a laugh slips through as he pushes his hair back. It’s like in the movies, where one character has something he wants to say but doesn’t know how to say it so he just ends up looking like a bit of a lunatic. It’s comical in fictional situations, but definitely not in this one.

 

“You okay over there?” Baekhyun asks meekly. 

 

Jongin looks like he’s about to implode. “Nope, I’m not.” 

 

Baekhyun sighs, “Really, let’s just forget about it. I don’t want you to be burdened by this or anything.” 

 

This time, Jongin sighs and makes his way over to sit at the other end of the couch. “The only thing I’m burdened by,” he starts quietly and just keeps getting quieter, “is trying to figure out how to tell you that I’m not straight.” 

 

Baekhyun has to be hearing things. His hangover is somehow causing him to hear things he wants to hear. 

 

“What? But you—”

 

“I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you for a while. I’m not out yet, only Sehun knows so far. Well, now counting you.” Jongin is back to avoiding eye contact. “I’ve been struggling with my sexual orientation for a while and have only just started to really accept it. And I felt something for you, too, but I couldn’t be sure if it was really  _ something _ without meeting you in person,” Jongin admits, fingers fidgeting and his knee bouncing nervously. 

 

Baekhyun isn’t sure what to say. He’s not sure he can speak at all, especially with a lump in his throat. He could express himself through actions, but Jongin seems like he wants space and Baekhyun needs to respect that. 

 

“It was Sehun’s idea. Visiting you, I mean,” Jongin risks glancing over, face burning red instantly when his eyes meet Baekhyun’s wide, surprised ones. “He said it would be good for me to figure out what I was feeling and I really hate it when he’s right.” 

 

Baekhyun's tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth as if someone had completely sucked out all the moisture in it. 

 

“He—he was right?” Baekhyun stutters. “Do you, um…”

 

“Have feelings for you?” 

 

Baekhyun nods. Jongin shifts in his spot, turning so that he’s facing Baekhyun, and his face softens when Baekhyun looks at him. 

 

“What happens if I say yes?” 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

Jongin allows his shoulders to slump, “We live three hours away from each other. If we take this any further, what are we getting ourselves into?” 

 

Baekhyun lets out the breath he’d been holding and finds the guts to reach over and place his hand on top of Jongin’s. It’s hesitant, and Jongin’s hand flinches at the contact, but it’s comforting overall, and Baekhyun thinks they could both use a little comfort right now. 

 

“We’ll be getting ourselves into something that requires effort,” Baekhyun laughs brightly. Jongin starts smiling. 

 

“Is effort something you’re capable of?”

 

“And to think I was getting ready to kiss you,” Baekhyun makes a face. 

 

Jongin giggles, “Really though, could it work?” 

 

Tilting his head, Baekhyun grins before he decides to lean forward. He doesn’t speak, just keeps grinning. 

 

“What… are you doing?” 

 

Baekhyun closes the distance between them then, quickly pecking Jongin’s lips and only pulling back enough to speak. “It could work as long as we want it to work. We have to want it,” Baekhyun is almost whispering, he lips brushing against Jongin’s lips as he speaks. 

 

The moment is sweet and wonderful—until Jongin starts giggling, pushing Baekhyun away because he’s too flustered to keep his cool. 

 

“Hyung,” he whines cutely. Baekhyun is back to wanting to explode. 

 

“Stop giggling so I can kiss you properly,” Baekhyun pouts. 

 

“Okay, okay. I’m good, kiss me.” 

 

This time when Baekhyun leans in, he goes about it slowly. He runs his thumbs over the apples of Jongin’s cheeks and tugs Jongin forward. Jongin hesitates at first, his lips moving unsurely while Baekhyun’s move with confidence, trying to coax Jongin out of his shell. It’s cute and a little clumsy. 

 

“You don’t have to be so shy,” Baekhyun assures. 

 

“Uh, you’re kinda the first guy I’ve ever kissed. I think being insanely nervous is acceptable in this case,” Jongin’s blushing a whole new shade of red.

 

Baekhyun tries not to let his own nervousness show, but the smile that spreads on his face is from ear to ear and his heart thumps two beats too quick. “How adorable,” he practically coos. 

 

Jongin tries to shy away, “ _ No _ .” 

 

Baekhyun kisses the tip of Jongin’s nose, kisses his cupid’s bow, and then finally kisses his lips again, slotting their mouths together and moving his hands around to the nape of Jongin’s neck. Jongin’s confidence grows the longer they kiss, and it’s not long before he’s sliding his hands up Baekhyun’s chest and grasping at his shirt, trying to pull him closer. Baekhyun ends up pulling Jongin on top of him when he lays down on the crowded couch, bodies fitting together perfectly despite the awkward positioning of their legs. 

 

They kiss until their lips are throbbing and raw, swollen and red and slicked with spit. Baekhyun is very reluctant to stop kissing Jongin, though, even if it’s just for a second. He wouldn’t mind his career going to hell if that meant he got to spend his days making out with Jongin like this. 

 

And when their bodies brush, both already hard and their chests heaving as they pant against each other’s lips, Baekhyun thinks this is the closest he’ll ever be to feeling an electric shock. Hopefully. 

 

Baekhyun slowly slides a hand under Jongin’s shirt, dragging his palm up Jongin’s spine, relishing in the smooth skin and tensed muscles there. Jongin makes a noise and pulls back, face flushed, hair messy and his lips ruined. “Hyung,” he breathes, “there’s probably something you should know.” 

 

“Hmm?” Baekhyun begins kissing along Jongin’s jaw. 

 

“I’m um… I mean I never—” 

 

Baekhyun stops kissing Jongin’s jaw briefly, “Are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin?” 

 

Jongin hides his face against Baekhyun’s chest and lets out an embarrassed laugh. “Yeah, kinda. I’m not completely inexperienced, but I’ve never done stuff with a guy. So.” 

 

“I’m not in a rush,” Baekhyun plants a kiss on the underside of Jongin’s chin. “We don’t even have to do anything sexual. I quite like making out with you and I’m perfectly content like this.” 

 

“Saying things like that might get you laid.” Jongin lifts his head, tilting it to the side suggestively. 

 

“I have a way with words, what can I say?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jongin rolls his eyes before dipping down to kiss Baekhyun again, this time with full confidence and purpose. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Jongin, wait,” Baekhyun’s breathless, pushed against his sheets with Jongin on top of him. “I need to know that you’re sure. Virginity is—”

 

“Something that I’m not going to lose if you keep talking,” Jongin jokes. His assault on Baekhyun’s neck (something he’s gotten very good at over the past two days) continues and Baekhyun is just really trying to keep his mind on track. 

 

“Yes, but am I worthy enough?” Baekhyun moans mid-laugh when Jongin bites softly at the front of his throat. 

 

“If you weren’t then we wouldn’t be doing this. I leave tomorrow afternoon, hyung. Who knows when we’ll see each other again?” 

 

He has a point, Baekhyun knows. Once tomorrow arrives, he’ll have to say goodbye and he’s reluctant to do so, naturally. Having spent the last two days kissing Jongin silly and rutting against each other for any sort of friction, there’s nothing more that Baekhyun would love to do than have sex with Jongin. The sexual tension they’ve built up could be cut with a knife. 

 

“I know, I know. Just… you’re positive?” 

 

Jongin dips his head down to kiss Baekhyun, “Positive.” 

 

Baekhyun nods, his nerves suddenly in overdrive as he nudges for Jongin to let him up. “Lay back,” he tells Jongin, pressing a hand against Jongin’s already bare chest. Baekhyun’s not really sure at what point during the makeout portion of their evening did he remove Jongin’s shirt. Not that he’s complaining. 

 

Jongin obliges and watches as Baekhyun settles between his legs. He starts by kisses each of Jongin’s hip bones, satisfied when Jongin’s hips twitch when Baekhyun scrapes his teeth across them. His hand brushes over Jongin’s obvious bulge and he takes the time to palm at him for a bit, brushing and rubbing until Jongin lets out an impatient breath. 

 

“Hyung,” he whines. 

 

Baekhyun grins as he hooks his fingers in Jongin’s sweats and tugs them down. What he doesn’t expect, is for Jongin to not be wearing underwear, but he surely gets a pleasant eyeful when Jongin’s cock slaps up against his stomach. Jongin flushes and looks away, embarrassed. 

 

Usually, Baekhyun would tease, maybe trace a single finger around the head and down the underside, but he’s probably more eager to get his mouth on Jongin than Jongin is to have Baekhyun’s mouth on him. He starts by swirling his tongue around the head and dipping it into the slit, eliciting a soft gasp from above. 

 

Jongin is thick, and Baekhyun has to keep swallowing around him in order to keep from gagging. Each time he swallows, Jongin groans and pushes his hips down further into the mattress, and Baekhyun only sinks his mouth down lower. It’s obvious and a little expected that Jongin is sensitive to everything Baekhyun does with his mouth, moaning and whining when Baekhyun presses the tip of his tongue against the underside of the head, and Baekhyun loves it. 

 

“Fuck,” Jongin moans, hand sliding down to tangle in Baekhyun’s hair. 

 

Baekhyun moans around Jongin then, feeling submissive with Jongin’s hand in his hair. He continues sucking and swallowing, eyes flicking up every so often to see Jongin’s head tipped back in bliss, eyes screwed shut and his pretty, swollen lips parted. He pulls his mouth off of Jongin completely and grips the base with his hands and his tongue still flicking over the head, gives it a few firm strokes and watches as Jongin’s thighs tense up. 

 

“Hyung,  _ fuck _ ,” Jongin breathes. He lifts his head to look at Baekhyun. His pupils are blown and his skin is flushed pink all over, and it flushes a darker shade as Baekhyun makes a show of swirling his tongue around the leaking tip of Jongin’s cock. “Holy shit, s—stop. Please.” 

 

Baekhyun slows his tongue movements, “But what’s the fun in that?” 

 

“Me not finishing too soon?” 

 

“Point taken.” 

 

Jongin tugs Baekhyun’s hair again, this time tugging him up so he can press their lips together. He licks filthily into Baekhyun’s mouth, sucks at Baekhyun’s tongue, and Baekhyun thinks he could come like this if Jongin kept it up long enough. He relishes in the softness of Jongin’s mouth, slides his hands into Jongin’s hair and allows himself to be pulled down with Jongin, gasping when his clothed erection ends up pressed against Jongin’s hip. 

 

“You’re still dressed,” Jongin points out. 

 

“Mhm,” Baekhyun murmurs, nearly dizzy from the kiss. 

 

“Can you, like, not be?” 

 

Smiling, Baekhyun pulls his shirt and sweatpants off, letting them fall into a pile at the side of his bed, and Jongin turns beet red at the sight of Baekhyun’s cock bobbing between his legs. He reaches out shyly and gives Baekhyun a firm stroke, one that has Baekhyun’s hips pushing forward for more. 

 

“Should I, um… you know,” Jongin suggests. 

 

Baekhyun wraps his fingers around Jongin’s wrist, “As much as I would love to watch you blow me, I don’t have the patience for it right now.” And then he’s hopping out of bed, erection swaying as he makes his way over to his dresser to retrieve his lube and a condom. 

 

Turning back around, he’s met with a very unsure Jongin who glances at the items in Baekhyun’s hand. It’s a sight to see, really; Jongin chewing on his already swollen lips and his cock curved against his stomach, all pretty and wound up on Baekhyun’s bed. 

 

“You wanna top?” Baekhyun asks as if it’s the most casual thing ever. “Or I can ride you? Your choice.” 

 

“ _ Hyung _ !” Jongin pulls the covers up to hide his face.

 

“Cute,” Baekhyun laughs. 

 

“No, it isn’t.”

 

Baekhyun crawls towards Jongin on his knees and tugs the cover down with another giggle. He pushes the lube into Jongin’s hands and flops down beside him, “You know how to use your fingers, yes?” 

 

Jongin swats at Baekhyun’s thigh, “I’m not a moron.” 

 

“Are you sure?” Playfulness, Baekhyun thinks, will help take some of the pressure off of Jongin. Losing your virginity is nothing but a bundle of hyper aware nerves and performance anxiety. Baekhyun doesn’t want Jongin to feel like that.

 

Jongin glares playfully as he drizzles lube onto the pads of his fingers. He scoots closer and motions for Baekhyun to spread his legs. Baekhyun watches. He sees the slight tremble in Jongin’s hand and reaches down to rub circles against Jongin’s knee. “Relax,” he says softly. 

 

It’s slow paced, sweet, and clumsy the way Jongin goes about it. Baekhyun pushes his own worries and nerves to the back of his mind, ignores the hammering in his chest, and mutters words of encouragement as Jongin slides lubed fingers between Baekhyun’s cheeks, spreading a coldness that comes with an anticipation that Baekhyun could only dream about a few months before. 

 

“Ah,” Baekhyun breathes, tensing and then relaxing when he feels a finger tracing his rim. It’s been awhile since Baekhyun has been touched sexually, and the sudden sensitivity surprises him. Sensitivity lumped together with his feelings for Jongin can only result in him being overwhelmed and easily wreckable.

 

“Am I doing okay?” Jongin asks, blinking his eyes as he looks up. 

 

“Yeah, just… fingers. Please.” 

 

Jongin slides his free hand up the back of Baekhyun’s leg and hooks it over his shoulder, kisses the inside of Baekhyun’s knee as he eases the first finger in, and Baekhyun keens. Jongin’s lips on his skin and the slight stretch of his finger are both a new feeling and a foreign feeling, both that Baekhyun had missed in his unwanted abstinence.  

 

Jongin gets the hang of it pretty quick, using Baekhyun’s moans to spur him on, crooking his finger and adding a second when Baekhyun’s asks him to. He works Baekhyun open slowly, careful not to hurt him despite Baekhyun telling him that he doesn’t have to be so soft about it. 

 

“Jongin— _ ah _ —I need more,” Baekhyun whimpers, arching as Jongin traces the thick vein on the underside of his cock with a finger. “Fuck, please.” 

 

“You’re pretty like this,” Jongin slowly withdrawals his fingers and scoots closer to hold Baekhyun’s quivering thighs apart with his legs. Baekhyun blushes profusely at the praise as Jongin rolls the condom down his length. 

 

And then Jongin’s hovering over Baekhyun, supporting his weight with one hand and using the other to guide himself to Baekhyun’s entrance while Baekhyun curls his fingers around Jongin’s forearm, staring up at him with his eyes soft and filled with need. 

 

“I’m nervous,” Jongin laughs shakily. Baekhyun can feel his arm trembling. 

 

“Don’t be. You’re a dancer, your hips were made for this.” And then Baekhyun’s moving his hips up, rutting himself against the head of Jongin’s cock shamelessly and,  _ oh _ , he wants Jongin to hurry up. 

 

Jongin, on the other hand, groans and bites at his lip and he continues to bite his lip as he pushes inside, filling Baekhyun up and stretching him until he bottoms out. “Shit,” Jongin grits his teeth. 

 

It's obvious that he's trying to hold back and figure out how to pace himself. Baekhyun exhales, trying to keep himself from getting too needy as he tugs Jongin down for a kiss. Kissing is grounding and distracting, a perfect way to slow everything down. 

 

Jongin stays still for a while, slowly grinding into Baekhyun and swallowing Baekhyun's moans down when he rolls his hips just a bit too hard, and Baekhyun can't help but hook his legs around the small of Jongin’s back. Jongin sinks in just a little deeper with the change of angle, and the jolt of pleasure that shoots up Baekhyun’s spine has him tightening his fingers around Jongin’s bicep. 

 

“You okay?” Baekhyun asks, breathless as he plants kisses along the side of Jongin’s face. 

 

“Yeah, just give me a second,” he mumbles against Baekhyun’s collarbone. 

 

“Fuck me, Jongin,” Baekhyun urges, voice low and raspy. 

 

Jongin pushes his hips forward experimentally, shallowly fucking into Baekhyun and muffling his groans against Baekhyun’s sweat-slicked skin. Screwing his eyes shut, Baekhyun gasps and hikes his legs up higher on Jongin’s sides, hands sliding around to Jongin’s back where he can feel muscles shifting under smooth, damp skin. It’s been awhile since he’s taken things slow in the bedroom, and he forgot the flood of emotions that moments like these bring about. 

 

All Baekhyun can think about as Jongin picks up the pace, is the fact that he doesn’t want Jongin to leave tomorrow. He wants him to stay here and he wants to stay just like this, tangled up together and not having to worry about living actual lives for a little while. 

 

“Hyung, you feel so good,” it comes out breathy and shaky as Jongin pushes himself up, forearms bracketing around Baekhyun’s head. Jongin presses his forehead against Baekhyun’s and their lips brush with his thrust, moaning and whining against each other’s mouth. It’s all so intimate; there’s pleasure everywhere, and Baekhyun is starting to feel dangerously close to tipping over the edge. Jongin rolls his hips with fluidity and purpose, draws out these noise from Baekhyun and makes him arch his back, and all Baekhyun can do is hang on for the ride.

 

He slides his hands down to Jongin’s ass, makes Jongin yelp in surprise when he gives it a playful smack. They laugh, and Jongin leans up just enough that he can support his weight on one forearm. He brings his other hand up and cups Baekhyun’s jaw and slides his thumb over Baekhyun’s still swollen bottom lip, admiring just how pretty Baekhyun’s lips are after hours of making out. 

 

“So pretty,” he whispers, smiling when Baekhyun gets shy and looks away from him. “So cute.” 

 

Baekhyun wraps his fingers around Jongin’s wrist, softly rubbing at the soft skin on the inside of his wrist and grinning as he wraps his lips around Jongin’s thumb, sucking suggestively and nibbling gently. Jongin moans loudly, “Fuck.” 

 

Nothing turns Baekhyun on more. 

 

Jongin keeps his eyes locked on Baekhyun’s mouth, thrusts growing sloppy with the distraction. Baekhyun arches his hips up as if to remind Jongin to stay on track, and he ends up whining high-pitched and desperate when the head of his cock brushes Jongin’s abdomen. 

 

“Hyung, I’m—I’m,” Jongin tries, hips snapping just that much harder. 

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun breathes, “me too.” 

 

Jongin’s hips are merciless now, snapping and rolling and he’s in  _ so deep _ , the tip of his cock brushing a spot that makes Baekhyun feel like crumbling. 

 

“Oh  _ god _ ,” Baekhyun gasps. “Fuck, right there, Jongin.”

 

Jongin complies and angles himself so he hits the right spot every time. Baekhyun is seeing white. So close. He’s  _ so _ close. 

 

A hand slides between their bodies, and Baekhyun’s eyes snap open when Jongin wraps his hand around him and strokes him in tune with his thrusts. “Jongin, fuck. Fuck, oh my god,” he babbles, the tips of his blunt nails digging crescents into Jongin’s shoulder blades. 

 

“Come on, hyung,” Jongin whispers. 

 

Baekhyun lets go, body tensing with the intensity of his orgasm as he comes over Jongin’s hand. Jongin’s hips stutter when Baekhyun flutters around him, filling the condom right after Baekhyun finishes.

 

With their limbs tired and now jello like, they lay there in the silence; Jongin’s head on Baekhyun’s chest and Baekhyun running his fingers through Jongin’s hair. 

 

“Tired,” Jongin slurs. Baekhyun laughs. 

 

“Don’t go to sleep on me. I don’t wanna sleep all covered in come.” Baekhyun taps Jongin’s side to get him to move, “C’mon, up we go.” 

 

Jongin whines, “But  _ hyung _ .” 

 

Baekhyun is really going to miss hearing that once tomorrow comes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow arrives too soon. They’re standing in the middle of the bus station before Baekhyun knows it, and Baekhyun clings onto Jongin amidst a sea of people, his head tucked under Jongin’s chin with Jongin lightly swaying back and forth. He will not cry, he tells himself. Not here, not in front of Jongin. 

 

“I don’t wanna go,” Jongin sighs. He kisses the top of Baekhyun’s head. 

 

Baekhyun tightens his arms around Jongin’s middle, “I don’t want you to go.” 

 

“You’re gonna come visit me next month, right?” They’d spent almost all of last night talking about it—about them and how they’re going to make it work. They have a small schedule worked out so far, so they’re off to a start. That doesn’t mean it’ll make it any easier, though. They’re still going to miss each other but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. 

 

“I’ll be there with bells on.” He looks up at Jongin, smiling as he leans up to give him a kiss. It’s intense every time Jongin kisses him, lips slotted perfectly together and hands in each other’s hair. Baekhyun really,  _ really _ doesn’t want him to go.  

 

But, unfortunately, it’s time for Jongin’s bus, and Baekhyun is forced to detach himself from the warmth of Jongin’s body. Jongin’s smile is tinged with sadness and reluctance, but Baekhyun smiles brightly and shoos him. 

 

“Don’t look so sad. You’ll be stuck with me again next month.” 

 

“And you’ll be lucky if I let you come back here,” Jongin tries to laugh but that comes out a bit sad, too. 

 

“Is that a promise?” 

 

“Someday, maybe.” 

 

“I like the sound of that.” 

 

It’s not a promise of forever, but more of a promise of  _ we’ll see where this goes _ . And Baekhyun is content with that. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
